Where am at

Again, I find a song that expresses my disposition accurately.

Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

Casting Crowns

Sexting

That this would be my post title!

What have we come to?

I'm appalled by this craze among the youth.
Sexting is texting sexplicit messages or nude pictures on the phone.
Apparently some high school students in America (don't know about other countries) take nude pictures and send them to friends.
Girls especially, send nude pictures of themselves to boyfriends.
We are talking 13 to 18 year olds - how sad!
Peer pressure, admiration, worthiness, fame, fun?
Indulgent nonsense - that is what it is.

I read that one girl sent a naked picture of herself to a boy, it leaked to other kids who teased and laughed at her until she couldn't take it anymore - she committed suicide.

Teen age is a jumbled phase in life; the confusion of finding self, fitting in, let alone the mystery the opposite sex, is a lot to deal with.
Add sexting to the equation and you end up with a bunch of crazy, warped weirdos.

Is it hard to grasp that our bodies are sacred, created in the image of a loving God who desires that we honor the mold?

Paul the Apostle said;

I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].

Romans 12:1-2

What do responsible parents do to protect their children from such influence?
They can't be locked in the house - they are old enough for certain freedoms.
Should parents police and check all messages on their kids phones?
I know - what are kids doing with cell phones in the first place?
Blame technology, why do those wiz fellows go creating trouble with their brilliance - putting cameras on phones?

Even though the issues have metamorphosed over the years, the gist is the same.
Approximately 1000 B.C, King David asked the question;-
How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. Psalm 119: 9
It might sound bizarre but it's true.

Young people may be curious, groping in the dark, trying to make sense of life's mysteries but the adults are not that much better.

When MTN introduced bluetooth; short text messages could be swapped from one Sim card to another.
I assisted customers transfer their data.
Men from all walks came to save their text messages. At times I literally wanted to duck behind the counter because the texts were mucky with obscenity's.
Dignified men dressed in suit and tie, nice shoes - classy; the unkempt guys, sweaty, torn collar - all stating very important info that needed to be kept.
I avoided eye contact as though I was the guilty one.

David should have asked "How can Man keep his way pure?"
But then the answer is the same -by living according to God's Holy word.

Who am I?

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.

Casting Crowns

Bad company

I was chocked with anger and rage last evening.
Why?, you ask why?
Well of course you ask why, and I will tell you.

I spend a lot of time and energy training my little boy to walk the straight and narrow, to respect his elders, to obey and that sort of thing. It's a heavy duty assignment from my creator and I'm grateful that He helps me a long the way.

A neighbours child constantly knocks on our door pleading that Mich go out and play with him. For the most part I was hesitant, but certainly Mich appreciates "little" company so either Sam or I would watch them as they played.
Over time this child has left a sour taste in my mouth. You know that gut feeling that God gave mothers?. It's hard to explain, but it's there, you just know it when you see trouble, so I tried to keep Mich busy.

Just when I needed a justifiable reason to keep Mich away, an excellent opportunity presented itself.

After playing outside Mich was running his mouth off about many things. Like he saw a beautiful yellow butterfly with black spots, then he says "DJ and I have been breaking cars", shocked but thinking I missed it, I beg his pardon and he says "we have been breaking cars".
Toy cars?, what kind of cars?, trying not to let on that I'm absolutely freaked I took a deep breath and said " really? do you want to show me the cars?", he gladly says "sure, follow me".

To my shock and horror a car number plate had been unscrewed and was lying on the floor.
WHAT!!!!!
Clearly Mich had no sense of what he had done, he said he was following DJ's instructions.
WHAT???
I know he didn't do it, unscrewing bolts is not exactly game for Mich, but just the thought that he participated some how?! brrrrrrrrrr aaaagggghhhh.

DJ is 9, my baby just turned 5.

While I was extremely upset with DJ for tarnishing my baby's innocence I couldn't quite get my head round Mich's unconscionable act.
Is the conscience of a 5 year old not yet in gear? What happened to all our talk about good and evil? respect for peoples property?.

This is quite unnerving.

Why do I have to be tapped with such big wake up calls?, I wasn't even sleeping in the first place.
I turn monstrous and burn like a fire when someone messes with my boy; don't touch him physically, more importantly don't mess with his mind - just don't mess with him period.

Two things, make that three.

One, I run back to Jesus and ask for wisdom.
Secondly, I swell with pride to think my God gets a lot more ferocious than I can imagine when anyone tries to mess with me.
Finally, no more DJ.

Aah Parenting!
God, how do you do it?

Give me just enough

Unbelievable! simply unbelievable - the whole thing.

Lately these statements trot through my mind with more frequency;-
-Less is more
-The love of money is the root of all evil
-"Give me enough food to live on, neither too much nor too little. If I'm too full, I might get independent, saying, 'God? Who needs him?' If I'm poor, I might steal and dishonor the name of my God."

Most every weekend, huge pickup trucks drive into our complex. We see people loading up their property and moving out. On Saturday the drive ways were near deserted, I hardly saw signs of life in the area.

This financial crisis is really doing its thing.

Leaves me in awe of how God is keeping us.
We don't have much, the stakes are up against us but somehow there is peace, He continues to put food on our table and a smile on our faces.

Watching 20/20 the other day, I saw people literally go from riches to rags. It's incredible the dire poverty these tough times have brought on people. It featured a guy who owned a hedge fund now doing pizza delivery, a CEO now a cleaner.
A couple literally drowning in credit card debt, and lacking running water in their huge private mansion.
Not to mention AIG and the infamous Madoff.

How did things get this bad?
Obviously several factors come in to play but I think crazy money-love and lavish spending top the list.
The desire to have more than you need because you've got the means to purchase it. If you don't have the means, you find a way of acquiring it.

You know?! it's true - "Never judge a book by it's cover". While people may look spiffy, there is no telling how they are keeping up appearances. The outside might look flashy but debt is taking the run of the house.
While Africans suffer from power hunger and corruption - the bazungu and banyaga here suffer from credit cards and excess.
We want-they waste, but either way we all become silly, that is why King David was right to say "Lord, give me just enough".

Chapter 16

It's good to try something different.
That, for some might mean tasting frogs, bungee jumping, going skiing - well, you fill in the gap.

I'm going to try my hand at writing a best-seller, no? okey a seller?!- something. Hoping that you will not delete my blog after this.

It was a drab, wintry night in mid december,
the air outside was choked with snow flakes and gusty winds.
She clasped her hands and prayed as she looked out the car window -
"Lord, Is there any chance of a miracle? a different report?
You know I don't want this - No Lord, please - I'm weary".

Her heart skipped a beat, jolted out of a prayerful mode by the sensation of the little life moving and kicking in her womb.
She caressed her belly, "hush my little one, don't kick mummy too hard" - even though she relished being awakened to the wonder in her womb - the movements made her wince.
She recalled carrying her first child and the thrill that pattering gave.
Why was it so excruciating this time? could the baby sense her strife? was her body escalating the intensity of the problem at hand? or was her little one engrossed a blissful dance, oblivious of events in the world beyond the womb?

As the car pulled up the hospital drive way her heart sank, she could almost feel it making it's way down, passed her lungs, round her intestines, headed straight to the bottom of her belly.
"Lord, is this it?"
There was no answer.

She slowly, carefully, wrapped her scarf around her neck - with a distant look in her eyes, zipped up her jacket and opened the door. With one hand firmly griping the support handle and one below her belly, she placed one foot out of the car, then grimacingly inched forward. It seemed with every passing moment, her stomach got heavier.
Her husband brought the wheel chair close enough so she could sit.
As she raised out of the car their eyes met.
He looked sad - it was a painful night.

She recalled the night, three days before, when she had rushed to hospital; the vacant look in the doctor's eyes as she told her they couldn't save her baby.
How she shook like a leaf, certain that she was losing her mind.
The doctor said she was in labour at only 21 weeks - her cervix was dilating, the situation irreversable.
She recalled, lying on the hospital bed that night, tears streaming down her cheeks, wondering how this happened.
She shut her eyes tight, wishing she could vanish.

In this new country without a friend or a relative to hold her hand.

Her best friend and partner was at home with their son because these people didn't believe in house help, how was a woman expected to work, cook, clean and be wife and mother all at the same time. It was because of this new culture that her husband couldn't be there to hold her when she needed him most.
"Lord, why?
Her heart was pounded intensly, she could barely think.

Looking out her hospital room window, the world was bustling with life - Christmas lights on every street corner, cars whizzing passed in all directions. The merriment of the season was passing her by.
Nobody cared for her misfortune, she didn't exist.

In that room, surrounded by four white walls, she faced death.


Her family was miles away; across the ocean, in another time zone, another place.
She cried out to the Lord again and in the chaos of a wondering mind, a strained heart, a body out of control - she heard a voice saying "FEAR NOT MY CHILD, I'M WITH YOU"
The undeniable voice of her heavenly father.

I love spring

                                                        

Get up, my dear friend, fair and beautiful lover—come to me!

Look around you: Winter is over; the winter rains are over, gone!

Spring flowers are in blossom all over.

The whole world's a choir—and singing!

Spring warblers are filling the forest with sweet arpeggios.

Lilacs are exuberantly purple and perfumed, and cherry trees fragrant with blossoms.

Song of Solomon 2:10 - 14 (The Message)