HAPPY EASTER!

Your eyes locked in a loving gaze
Words were not necessary - You had been chosen
Papa’s heart was breaking but you knew It had to be done.
A decision soaked in Love and Mercy,
Grace and Compassion,
Sorrow and Pain,
And Passion – a mission!

Wrapped in swaddling cloth and held in the delicate but firm hands of a maiden.
Though she was naïve and inexperienced you saw obedience, desire and wisdom.
How did you feel dressed in human flesh? - A “made-in-your-likeness” baby?
You! Perfectly God yet perfectly man.

32 years on, your purpose unfolded
12 simple men by your side, questioning, always questioning,
Crowds following, some smiling, some sneering
Ladies reaching for your cloak, emptying perfume jars on your feet,
Eager to hear you, feed you and wash your feet with their tears.

The donkey and the Palms
The 12 simple men at the dinner
The garden – bleeding with sorrow
The betrayal
The interrogation
The denial
The crown of thorns
The flogging
The wood plunks, heavy on your back
The excruciating journey up the hill
The nails in your hands and feet
The gush in your side
Aaaah!

Papa turned away
Deserted you to bear it all
You became sin, but you hadn’t sinned
Alone, wounded, mocked, despised
The last breath and you were gone.

What happened down under?
What did you there?
What did you see?

Three days later
You came forth
The stone was rolled away
The BATTLE won
You took the keys of death and hell

Now I immerse myself in your blood,
I use your Name – the password to Life
Your obedience paid my ransom - bought my freedom

You are coming again, do not tarry I pray
But that I would be ready when you return.

© Mary 2010

HAPPY EASTER!

Casting Crowns - Acoustic Session

I fueled the car, set my GPS and drove over 70 miles to the little town of Williams port in Maryland.The fear of venturing so far on my own was overcome by the passion for my No.1 gospel band; Casting Crowns, The Acoustic Session, Live.

I took the dive when I found out they would be some place reachable and it was well worth it.
Casting Crowns is a contemporary christian rock band birthed out of youth ministry. Their songs, mostly written by lead vocalist Mark Hall, are strung around his walk with God and relationships with the young people he mentors. I like that they are relevant, they know how to organize a nice piece of music that not only leads one to dance but also draws hearts to worship.

The lyrics to their songs are often right on cue, like warm rays of sunlight on a cold and windy day.
Once I was mourning with an in-law/friend  who had just lost his mother, when "... I will praise you in this storm, I will lift my hands, You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in Your hands You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm"  seemed most appropriate.

When I questioned events in my life and wondered how God was working, I was encouraged to hear "...But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth"

By 6:30pm, I was seated and ready for the concert to begin. When they walked on stage I was screaming on the inside, my heart was doing curt wheels. I was out of breath but I managed to clap in a dignified fashion, never mind that in a mass of a few thousand white faces, black people like myself could easily be spotted. I didn't want to add my black madness to the already unique situation.

I loved that over and above the fun and worship, Mark pointed us to Jesus and encouraged us to "Come to the well". We are like empty holes and only Jesus can satisfy continuously and completely.

At 10:00pm I was on the road again, content with time well spent and praying for journey mercies back to my family.

To be a girl or a boy, is that the question?

The human race has officially lost it!
It is time to go home! The longer we stay on earth, the more warped we become.

We are intelligent beings, evolving, creating and improving our lives. However we are prone to go off at  tangents that live us primitive once again.
When a man confidently declares that "Gender has some fluidity" and listening crowds nod in agreement, that is the moment I conclude that life as I knew it has changed for ever. When the fundamentals of creation, the identity of being male and female begin to shake, when doubts challenge the essence of the male and female gender giving room for gray areas, I realize we are in trouble. The thought that gender can be altered leaves my stomach in knots.
Gen 1:27 
   So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

At the age of 4 I earnestly wanted to be a boy. Nothing felt more right. Inside, I felt like a boy. The energy to kick and be extremely wild brewed within. Freedom from chores and dainty behavior suited me perfectly. I hang out with the boys hoping that perhaps by proxy I would change.I climbed trees and played soccer. I wore pants as often as I could. I liked the idea of being rough and tumble - I still do. But society had rules that shaped me, rules that brought to my conscience that because I had a certain design, I needed to represent that design. I learned that it was not my parents who decided my gender - God did, so I took it up with Him. I thought if perhaps I prayed hard and often enough He would switch the "gear" but I still had accidents using the toilet while standing. Perhaps if I insisted on wearing those pants and keeping my hair short people would forget I was girl and I would be accepted among the boys.In fact the name Mark would have suited me just fine. But the truth of the matter is, it didn't work. I was a girl, I'm still a girl.
 I struggled with my gender and felt frustrated at times but I realized that some "things" were not going to change. God created me a girl and it was final. I eventually grew out of the urge.

Now I'm told it can be surgically fixed. We can raise our angry fists at God and tell Him to be more careful next time. Show Him how it's done. The movies about creating human beings in laboratories are not that strange any more.
So if I took matters in my own hands, is it possible that I could have been that nice guy?. Wouldn't God's handy work have to be undone all the way? And is that possible? Can we become our own creators? Can we change spirit, mind, soul and body? Is body just a frame and the essence of a human being the soul?

I love being a girl. God planned my life to the last detail; I married a nice young man and I am the mother of two awesome children. HAPPY WOMENS DAY by the way.
Would that have happened if I insisted on correcting "God's error"?  Showing Him He in fact didn't know what he was doing creating me a girl?. If I embraced the attitude that " I can do this all by myself", If I asked God to step aside and watch while I handled me, just to give Him a few pointers for His next experiment, I wonder how things would have turned out.

God helped me embrace the beauty of creating me the way I am.
He knit me together in my mothers womb. Before I came into existence, He knew me. So even though I may battle some things, I find rest in surrender. I will not understand everything but I trust that He has my best interests at heart. If I renew my mind in His word and believe He has good plans for me, then I will sit tight and run to Him when my world is spinning. No body understands me the way He does, He created me. And just like car manufacturers recall faulty cars to their dealers, I think we should have a discussion with the manufacturer when we think He has messed up with our parts instead of running to the mechanic.
 The mechanic may patch things up but there will still be lots of car trouble and you will be forever bound to him, let alone the risks of fatal accidents.
The creator may not give you  new parts but He'll help you work with what you have. He doesn't promise perfection and a happy life but He promises to walk with us on this uneven road.To give us what we need, not necessarily what we want, for He knows his creation best.

So when the parents of a 6 year old boy support sex change surgery because he is "trapped" in the wrong body, I fear. I fear for his future, I think he is too young to make such a drastic decision, I think he doesn't have the right to make such a decision in the first place. If he regrets it after puberty will there be a reversal at that point?

It's A Beautiful Moon Tonight!

I saw the Moon
Bright and Majestic
It Warmed my Heart and brought a Smile to my Face.

Tribute to Uncle Enoch Kwizera: 1950 - 2013

I could have called, I should have sent him pictures of the kids when he asked. I should have sent that email when I thought about him. I procrastinated. I thought I would reach out when he got better. He had to get better because he was rarely unwell. I didn't think sickness would fall suddenly and take him downward like an avalanche.

I've never had so many "should have" "would have" "could have" thoughts floating through my mind as the moment I received the news of Uncle Enoch's death.

I don't know who coined the phrase "Larger than life" but Uncle Enoch fit the bill. He had the ability to transform the spirits of those around him. He was remembered every where he went, no matter how long or short a time he spent. His presence was so potent. To say he maximized each moment doesn't quite describe the enthusiasm with which he lived. He extracted every nutrient out of life.
He Climbed every mountain,
Forded every stream,
Followed every rainbow,
Till he found his dream
A dream that would need
All the love he could give,
Every day of his life,
For as long as he lived.

Whenever I shared a struggle or misfortune, he shared 4 of his own with advice and that helped me keep things in perspective.
He read every book worth reading. He was up to date with world events. He knew the latest music and news in Kampala even though he hadn't lived in the country for over 20 years. He was still connected with friends, lecturers and professors that he grew up with.
I don't know of any 63 year old actively connected on face book but he shared posts, commented on my status page and was a big fan of my blog. He was there. He encouraged me to keep writing and even offered to be my editor.

Uncle Enoch was not only my husband's uncle, he was my uncle too. When we were still dating, Sam told me about his uncle in South Africa. We exchanged emails; he told me stories, shared jokes and we became friends. He had an intense sense of humor that was shocking at times and totally rib cracking. He once told me the spell check suggestion for the name "Zinsanze" was "insane". I found that very funny.
It would be 5 years before we met in person.
It is not common that a girl relates easily yet respectfully with an Uncle in-law, I thank God.

After a year in Philadelphia, I was still getting lost. Uncle Enoch stayed with us for 3 days and he knew the lay out of the city like the back of his palm. He made friends with the guys at the local bar, and on the 3rd night went out on the town with a stranger turned friend. While I struggled to fit in, he got the local bar owner  to keep his luggage. Who does that in America? At least not 3 days after one has arrived in the country and especially considering that he was an original African with the accent to boot.
He knew how to locate the best restaurants because he had walked the entire city. He took Sam and I out  to diner as though he was the host.
.
He enjoyed drinking spirits. A strong cup of coffee in the morning was all he would ask for. I was concerned about his diet but I excused him saying he knew everything there was to know about medicine and the body, after all he was a Pharmacologist and a Professor at Walter Sisulu University. Read his inaugural address here.

I can't believe he is gone. I won't be there for his funeral -  that would have given me better closure. But like Uncle Nathan said, "In all things we give thanks".

He warned me about putting pictures of him on my blog but I had to do it, just this one time.

Lesson: Learn to be obedient to the Spirit. Reach out and throw a life line when somebody crosses your mind because that means they need to hear an  encouraging word.

On my mind

I'm relishing this song today.
There are numerous You Tube versions but I'm drawn to this one because it has the verses. It sounds a little ancient but it is nice.

Let's turn our eyes upon Jesus.

Just found out that a close friend lost her dad. Sad that I can't be there with her :-( but Jesus is.
RIP Mr. Nangwale.

1.  
2. O soul, are you weary and troubled?
   No light in the darkness you see?
   There’s light for a look at the Savior,
   And life more abundant and free!
   • Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
     Look full in His wonderful face,
     And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
     In the light of His glory and grace
3. Through death into life everlasting
   He passed, and we follow Him there;
   O’er us sin no more hath dominion—
   For more than conqu’rors we are!
4. His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
   Believe Him, and all will be well:
   Then go to a world that is dying,
   His perfect salvation to tell!

For the record

A day after President Obama's second inauguration, I walked passed the U.S Capitol.

The bitter cold made me empathize with the cleaners. Clearing up under these negative temperatures must have been torture.
A well dressed man rolling a briefcase seemed a little undecided as he walked passed a cleaner. He seemed interested in something in or near the trash. When he finally gained the courage to pick it up, the cleaner claimed ownership.
I was obviously curious about what had caught the mans attention. As I walked passed I glanced and saw a single glove on the pavement.The well dressed man had no gloves and this was his chance to save one hand from freezing over but his hopes were dashed. It was that cold!
My fingers hurt, it took will power to press the shutter release and it wasn't even a paid job, just my madness.

Seats still in place

It was still closed off

There is nothing earth shuttering about these pictures, I just wanted to take record of the day after the 57th Presidential inauguration.