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Running the MTN marathon

I was eagerly anticipating the MTN marathon when one amazing event stopped me in my tracks. So, I let go of the baton but hope I will be there to cheer friends on.

Run the race my friends, put every hinderence aside and press on to that goal for which you run - health, fun, money, prestige... Do it with all your strength.

John the tea man

He is a short, well built, Musoga man. Very soft spoken, hardly says a word except when he is greeting. He is one of the first to arrive in office and probably the last to leave in the evening. When I met him 5 years ago, I was impressed with how neat he was, he kept his office clean. One of the few men that wears a T-shirt underneath his shirt. In most offices his job is handled by a woman, so that makes him unique. John is our tea man.

Every morning he washes the flasks, boils water in the heater and makes tea for an office of about 30 people. Whenever we have office meetings he will make special preparations – tea and snacks depending who is attending the meeting. He will also supervise the distribution of flowers for the offices. He has done this for over 6 years.
His profession is belittled but when he is off duty, his absence impacts us severely.
We start the day with a daily doze of coffee or hot cup of tea courtesy of John. But as selfish human beings, we are never keen to relate with colleagues at a lower level. We pose the question “what will it benefit me?”. We are often drawn to people we think will help us in one way or another, in the office it’s about getting a pay rise or a promotion.

Anyway, so it's nice to see John again. I stopped by the office one Saturday morning and found him supervising the cleaners. There was no better time to catch up - find out how he is doing. Our conversation went somewhat like this:

“So John, how are you?”

“I’m fine thanks, how are you?”

“I’m ok”

“How is the family?”

“Oh! It is in a mess”

I immediately thought, he’d had a disagreement with his wife and they were separated.

“What do you mean? What kind of mess?”

“My wife! My wife passed away on the 1st of January. She was pregnant. She died during child birth.”

My eyes begun to water.

Then he said, “my child died too, they all went”

I felt a huge lamp in my throat.

“John, I am so sorry!”

“Thank you. You see me here but honestly It’s just my body but my mind is far. I can’t stop blaming myself for what happened”.

Our conversation was interrupted. I picked it up a week later, I was curious to know why he blamed himself.
He said, while his wife was pregnant he had a dream about a dead baby. Looking back, he thinks it was a warning that he should have acted on - told his wife about -shared with someone.
Life is torture right now, with all the guilt on his back. We talked about it. I shared my experience and advised him to take it to the cross. I feel committed to pray for John and his little girl Praise who is four years old and constantly asking about her mother.

The grieving process is very lonely. Multitudes will flock your house when calamity strikes but they soon leave and you are left alone to purge the pain of every single day without your loved one. When the last soil is thrown on the grave, life resumes its impetus, people walk away and forget.
Always check on friends and colleagues , who are grieving, even months and years after the loss. Don’t be afraid to ask, don’t think you are opening old wounds, it’s actually their best therapy, to talk and share their feelings and to know that someone cares.

Robert the Cleaner

Robert is an energetic, hard working young man that I met 5 years ago. He is one of our office cleaners. Whenever we need an extra hand, Robert gladly chips in. He runs a thousand and one personal errands; paying electricity and water bills when staff can’t leave the office, he is sent for food, he cleans, he photocopies, and he prints, never complaining. Office would be lacking without him, he is a link in this chain without which, progress would come to a halt.

When I came home last year, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a call from him. He wanted to know how I was – amazing!
When I returned to work 2 weeks ago, with a glimmer in his eyes, he informed me that he is a senior 6 candidate. I was elated! He is in his early 30’s, he works 7am to 5 pm, as soon as he clocks out, he dashes to school for evening classes which end at 10pm – talk about resilience. I’m totally inspired by him.

Today is examination briefing for all senior 6 candidates. He took the day off, but I was surprised to see him rushing into office. He seemed a little unsettled, but I assumed he was tying up a few loose ends. Before heading out the door he said “I am going for briefing just now, but last night thugs broke into my house and stole everything”. I was speechless! Leaving me no time to commensurate, he smiled briefly and run out the door.
He has left a print on my life.

SHIFT

When I last posted about events in my life, I had a helper called Apolot. She has long since returned to her village in Atteta. Apolot and Mich were hissing, purring and barking at each other like cats and dogs. Having enough issues to contend with, this was not one to add to the number. She didn’t quite appreciate life in the city. When asked to clean the bathroom, she would stare at me as if to say, “ you’ve got to be kidding”. Her cleaning patterns were a little odd, she insisted on using a brush instead of a rug to mop and evidently the floor didn’t sparkle, in fact at times it looked worse. Thinking I was a little too particular I let her settle in. Out of a burning curiosity I asked about her cleaning strategy, and found out she had never cleaned a tiled floor before. She’d lived in a mud hut all her life. To clean a mud hut floor, all one needs is a local broom, do not make the mistake of using water , unless of course you are planning to create a mud puddle. For a new look, the floor is plastered with fresh mad or dung to smooth it over and then left to dry. So it’s possible that to Apolot, the tiles looked perfect the way they were.

One fine day, I came home to a resignation letter asking me to “be easy” – the “it’s not you, it’s me” story. I was somewhat glad that she had taken the initiative, we talked it over but when the time came for her to leave, she had second thoughts. Unfortunately I was already geared up to resume my duties; wake up at 5:30am, take a shower, get Mich ready, prepare breakfast , drop him off to school, get back home, clean, cook, have some alone time then pick Mich up and usually that was where my day begun or ended. I would listen to his stories, answer questions, engage in play and small arguments. Bath time, dinner, brush his teeth, read bed time stories…wakeup at 5:30am, take a shower and so on. By the way, Mich passed his P1 interview, yeee!!

I was gladly settling into a routine when I received a phone call from my former place of work. My supervisor asked me to begin work in a week. Whoa! That was going to be tricky without a helper. Panic!! I didn’t have a backup plan.
DAY 1 – Sam picked Mich, took him to grandma’s, I rushed home tired and that night we ate some leftovers.
DAY 2 – Sam picked Mich, took him to grandma’s, I rushed home tired, managed to whip up a meal.
DAY 3, 4 – Crazy weekend. Aunt’s introduction ceremony and search for a helper.
DAY 5 – Sam picked Mich and worked from home.
DAY 6 – Mom came up with a brilliant idea and viola! I have a helper. Thank God for moms. Hellen and Mich get along like a house on fire. By the way, I’ve been on cloud 9 since Mich begun to read on his own. It’s a wonderful feeling.

For 3 years now, I have been a house wife. I have enjoyed looking after my husband, loved watching my son grow. I carried out the duties of a stay home mom – cooking, cleaning, shopping – the works. That I have been blessed with a job in this fast paced Uganda is a blessing. That my former employer would have me back is an honor.
I give God thanks. In my next post I will tell about my challenges returning to work after being a stay home mom.