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| Sunset on a Turkish air flight to Kampala |
Do you ever wish for innocence again?
I
do.
Do
you ever wish you’d stayed young, 18, maybe 12 - free of life’s cares?
I
do.
Sometimes
I wish I could un-feel things, un-hear things, un-think things, un-see things.
Ah!!
But life won’t let. Life grabs you like a big cuddly clawed bear, it flings you
around, knocks every bone out of joint. The heart expands, emotions heighten
with each new thrill, each new pain, each new pleasure, each new heartache.
You
learn to trust less, you learn to forgive more, you learn to be more cautious,
more committed, less patient, more forceful. You learn. You unlearn.
They
say, “How are you?”
You
think, “What do they want?”
They
say, “I missed you”
You
think, “What do I owe?”
You
say, “I’m fine!”
They
think, “What’s she not saying?”
It’s
exhausting!
Look
at the bright side.
There’s
no bright side inside.
It’s
dark this inside, gloomy this inside.
Longing
for light - the soul source or sole source.
The
sole source that rearranges, reassures, refreshes, reforms, reinvigorates,
renews, restores, revives.
This
little red, pulsating organ, that throbs within a cage needs to locate that
soul source.
Rest.
Eh!
But I can really be melancholic.
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