Not yet

I went for my scheduled appointment last Monday ready to have the stitches removed but Dr. Alex decided against it. He said I should give it 2 more weeks. He thinks baby is still small and not quite ready to see the world. I was disappointed. I really wanted the stitches out so that I could go on my way without worrying about what would happen if labor started and they were still in. I thought I would have a better chance of a natural delivery if the baby was small plus I didn’t think I would have the baby immediately anyway. But the doctor knows better and now, I’m good with it. I prayed about it, I know God will work things out beautifully.


Sitting home makes the hours tick by really slow, but it is nice to sleep in. My bags are packed and I’m looking forward to this new chapter in our lives. This period allows me time to pray over the baby, over the delivery, and life thereafter, for quick healing, for energy, for good health and so on.

Mich stays a few more hours at school to get some help with his writing. Apparently writing makes him really miserable. When I spoke with his teacher she said, he is quick to grasp what is taught, happily answers questions, but the writing sessions are torture. She was pleasantly surprised that he passed his exams so well. This weighed me down for a while but after I prayed about it, the burden was lifted. I have to keep in mind that he is an individual with strengths and weaknesses. (Even though I can’t recall having choices when I was a kid; we all did everything without ifs, ands or buts). He is easily excited by outdoor activities, he will catch insects and name the parts, plant seeds and watch them grow but please don’t ask him to draw or write sentences. If everything at school was play and orals he would be top of the class, unfortunately life is not a straight line. He has to embrace everything before he can narrow down and he has a long way to go. Tuesday was sports day at school and he won a medal for coming 3rd in the 3 legged race. I am really proud of him.

In the mean time I enjoy my birthday today and thank God, another year is here and I am excited about what He has in store for me.

Happy Father's day

HOW?

How does he become a Man
Without a Man to show him how?

How does he become a father
Without a Father to show him how?

In school? - By the intellectuals?
On the streets? - By the seasoned?
In the bar? - By those who see double?

How?

They call Him Abba
Father to the Fatherless
He will show you how

Mjay

Been chilling

35 weeks today, woo hoo!

And what have I been upto? you may ask. Well, I have been partying: had a 3 day office retreat in the beautiful Lake Victoria Serena hotel - just off Entebbe road. Celebrated Sam's birthday and our 9th anniversary- went to the movies, then took a boat ride the next day to Buwunga and spent the day with MTN friends. Hosted family to lunch and tea at home and now am just chilling. My work contract is up, hopefully it will be renewed in the next financial year - July ..., in the mean time I will prepare for the debut of our little bundle of joy.
My comfy room at Lake Victoria Serena Hotel

A nice view
Team building

Tree house in the distance

Buwunga sunset.

I'm feeling good! Still have lots of energy, actually sitting home is cramping my style. I would have loved to work till the last day. I have put on quite a few pounds. Even on a healthy food, the weight piles on like I'm on a junk diet. I look forward to shedding this weight or rather it dropping off. I miss drinking soda, wine and eating french fries, cakes, doughnuts ... that is not to say I haven't fallen off the wagon from time to time but I have endevoured to steer clear for the most part. I must confess that I have been guilty of taking coffee lately, that aroma is irresistable.

Next week the stitches will be removed. I don't know what to expect from then on. When I asked the doctor if I would have to be on bed rest, he found my question funny. So, apparently not, life continues and we wait for the signs which should come sooner or later.

I'm excited! Looking forward to this baby. I wonder what he/she looks like - a whole new person is coming into the world, unique in everyway - that is exciting. It feels like being a mother for the first time - 6 years since I had a baby. I pray it all comes back to me.

Love is serious business

It was while at a friend’s wedding recently that I was reminded of the beauty and seriousness of the vows I made to Mr. O almost 9 years ago. At 24 I was rosy eyed and love stricken, this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. What that entailed? – I had no clue. Even with all the counseling, the excitement of walking down the aisle and sharing house with my boyfriend got the better of me. Now, almost 9 years later, sitting in the congregation and listening to Flavia saying her vows, set me nodding like a puppet on strings, like I was having a eureka moment.

In marriage, not only do you become one in body, “You become one in thoughts, dreams and aspirations”. It’s the melting and molding of two separate individuals into one – the surrender, sacrifice and selflessness, the encouragement, rebuke and protection that make everything real and hard at times. As time inches forward, our faults and failures are magnified. You get your cute little head out of the clouds and trek the ground with all its rocks, sand, paddles, potholes and parties. Purpose to trek together, support one another and be there for each other no matter the situation. There is an indescribable bond and purpose to life when you work as a team. You have more confidence to face life’s curve balls because you know your back is covered.

The rings are made of earths most precious materials signifying heavens most precious virtue – Love. So, the priceless question is, What is love? Is it the ooey, gooey, mushy, washy, starry-eyed feeling that makes your heart go giddy up?
Well, here is another angle:

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

Love is a commitment not a feeling. It puts up with anything – beat that!

I can’t snap my fingers and say, “That’s it! I’ve had enough of your adulterous, porn addict, nagging, filthy ways!” You choose to love me even when I’m a disrespectful, stubborn, unsupportive, uncommunicative partner.

There is heavenly freedom and joy in knowing that no matter what I do, you are there, you care. Just the knowledge that you’re accepted is a motivation to be a better person. There is salvation and not condemnation.

We promise to be together “in sickness and in health” but how one’s stomach falls when a partner is diagnosed with a terminal illness – it’s scary. It’s near impossible to shake off the anguish when a child dies or is sickly. The flurry of emotions either strengthens or tears the marriage. The dangerous blame game pours salt in the juice; my children are not as brilliant because of your genes, now they stand a risk of inheriting this disease, I could have had a child of the other sex … As if to say, this was not part of the deal, I expected you to be perfect. Acknowledge the feelings of frustration and accept your partner with the knowledge that certain things are not planned.

Can we Love unconditionally? Not without God’s help we can’t.

As partners, our primary role is to help each other blossom and live up to our full potential. We are accountable to God. At the end of the day you will present you partner before God and He will ask to see how much of a better person you made them.

The world would be a different place if we didn’t give up on each other, didn’t strut or fly off the handle, took pleasure in the truth, always looked for the best, trusted God always…

It’s that serious and that fulfilling.

A day in the life of this expecting mommy

I honk the car horn, throw my head back and wait.
I hear fumbling on the other side before the gate creaks and opens in a haphazard fashion.
There, I see Mich, struggling to drag this heavy metal, pulling it back like a playmate resisting his tag. Tripping over his own feet in excitement , he grins as he lets the car in. I roll the car into parking position and switch off the engine.

I’m exhausted!

My back is on fire, my hands and feet are expanding like they are being pumped with air pressure. My facial features compete for space. My nose stretches east and west, my eyes sink under the flab of chubby eyelids as though in the game of hide and seek. My cheeks are filled up like I’m hoarding nuts on each side.

Then I hear on the radio how some crazy Chinese man stormed a kindergarten and hacked 8 or 9 toddlers to death.

I unlock the door and drag my legs out - one at a time. They slump to the ground and I raise my wobbly self up on their support. The weight of my tummy is unbelievable, it gravitates me towards the floor. Pressure on my pelvis, pressure on my bladder, pressure …
Mich rushes at me like a bullet, his eyes sparkling like diamonds, he screams “Welcome back Mummy”. He slams into my side and hugs me tight, as far round as his little arms can reach. The screech of his voice makes baby leap. I smile. What a heartwarming welcome!

I slowly walk into the house, drop my bags on a chair and slump down on the sofa, carefully raising my legs onto the footrest and sighing.
As I stretch and take a few deep breaths, I muse on the news I heard earlier in the day; a plane - Airways Afriqiyah, crashed landed in Tripoli, all 103 passengers died, except an 8 year old boy.
I think of the joys, the aches and strains of pregnancy, how the body works like a machine to make this baby. The woman’s body takes on a new form, it stretches, internal organs are crammed to make space and to nourish new life. Then there is celebration when this baby is born and starts life on its own.

In all this God’s mercies are new every morning; Chinese toddlers die, a Dutch boy is a sole survivor of a plane crash and this African woman, carrying new life in her womb mourns the death of her grandmother. Rest in peace Tata Apio.

What a day, day, day.