Investigate my life

May your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless . . . —1 Thessalonians 5:23

“Your whole spirit . . . .” The great, mysterious work of the Holy Spirit is in the deep recesses of our being which we cannot reach. Read Psalm 139 . The psalmist implies— “O Lord, You are the God of the early mornings, the God of the late nights, the God of the mountain peaks, and the God of the sea. But, my God, my soul has horizons further away than those of early mornings, deeper darkness than the nights of earth, higher peaks than any mountain peaks, greater depths than any sea in nature. You who are the God of all these, be my God. I cannot reach to the heights or to the depths; there are motives I cannot discover, dreams I cannot realize. My God, search me.”

Do we believe that God can fortify and protect our thought processes far beyond where we can go? “. . . the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). If this verse means cleansing only on our conscious level, may God have mercy on us. The man who has been dulled by sin will say that he is not even conscious of it. But the cleansing from sin we experience will reach to the heights and depths of our spirit if we will “walk in the light as He is in the light” (1 John 1:7). The same Spirit that fed the life of Jesus Christ will feed the life of our spirit. It is only when we are protected by God with the miraculous sacredness of the Holy Spirit that our spirit, soul, and body can be preserved in pure uprightness until the coming of Jesus-no longer condemned in God’s sight.

We should more frequently allow our minds to meditate on these great, massive truths of God.

This excerpt is taken from Oswald Chambers - "My Utmost for His Highest". 

I pray that the Holy Spirit would search me, cleanse me and organize me. The message translation of Psalm 139 says, "Investigate my life". In luganda I would say "Njagala onterere" or "Nterera mukama". It may be grammatically incorrect, I don't mind that, my desire is that He would organize me so that I can finally say "kati nteredde!".

A wrong turn...

A Global Positioning System (GPS) is a great navigation device, however, in the hands of a poor geographer with a lousy sense of direction, even the GPS gives up.

 One Saturday on a journey to a destination I don't remember, Sally gave me directions but I took a wrong turn. Sally by the way is the name I gave my automated GPS voice. She said she was "recalculating" when all over a sudden she went dead so I looked for a place to park.
I saw a nice cul-de-sac off the main road and turned. The road was winding and because I couldn't stop in the middle, I followed it all the way to the end. It led to a not-so-ordinary office. I realized I was in a not-so -good place when tire shredders emerged from the ground behind the car and a road block was placed in front of the car.
A policeman stepped out of the checking booth and I thought "oh oh! not good". He was over 6 feet tall, his dark shades reminded me of "Men in Black". As he approached the car he spoke into his walkie-talkie. I thought he was going to pull out a device that would freeze me over and erase my memory.
I rolled down the window and explained how I lost my way. I'm sure he was thinking "uh huh! a likely story". It didn't seem like a place one would wonder into. He asked for my ID, took the car registration number and walked back into the booth. Meanwhile his colleague stood in front of the car with a gun, ready to take action in case I decided to pull an unnecessary move. To keep him off my mind, I struggled to get Sally to guide me out but the phone went dead, there was no network in the area. I had landed in the "wrongestest" place possible.
After what seemed like an hour the policeman came out, directed me to another exit where the gates automatically opened and sent me on my way.

I was still not sure which office I had stumbled into until I got home and shared my little adventure with Mr. O. It was the National Reconnaissance Office. Click on it if you would like to know more. I don't have the strength to explain what they do.

But indeed "Mrs. O, you don't finish!"

On another note, I'm glad that even when we get lost in this world, we have the Holy Spirit and the Bible as our guide. SPS - Spiritual Positioning System or LPS - Life Positioning System.

Happy New Year? (SMILE)

I kneel to pray

Dear Father,
Thank you for 2012.
You kept my family safe and healthy. 
I grew and discovered, faced my failures and faults and watched them sink in your grace.
Thank you for my family.
Thank you for friendships old and new.
Thank you for your loving kindness towards me. For showing me you are always there and that you care about my needs. You provided from your bountiful stores.

It is special to be alive in this New year 2013. It is comforting to know that you have wonder-full plans for me. It is freeing to know you as my Savior and Lord, my life is covered and insured in you.
You are the essence of life. You are the reason I live. 
Jesus be glorified in this broken vessel. I may not be the most intelligent, or the life of the party. I may even feel lonely sometimes. But you teach me that it's okay. You made me fearfully and wonderfully and for a purpose. Help me to constantly remember that I'm valued especially when my sense of self worth gets confused by the standards of this world.

Thank you for Jesus. I can't do life without Him. He means the world to me. He is my inspiration, my wonderful counselor. There is no better person to talk to than one who can say "I know!" and truly mean it.

Holy Spirit fall afresh on me. Give me a fresh revelation of what I need to do every day. Guide me. Lead me. Quiet me that I would listen and obey. Melt this vessel. Shape this vessel. Use this vessel. I want to be flexible and yielded. Yes, I'm stubborn I know, please help me.
Help me to prioritize, to see and do that which is most important to you.

Thank you for my abilities. Sometimes I need to be reminded what they are (Smile).
Open my eyes to the opportunities you place before me. I don't want to bury or return my talents the same way you gave them to me.
Show me how to raise these children. They are precious, but parenting is frightening, I don't know. Anyway, lets do it together, you gave them to me because you knew I was capable right?

Aah! God, this is only the first day of the 2013, there is always going to be a lot to say so let me pause and give you a chance to talk too.

Me

Candid camera on my weight loss

Last January I decided to lose weight. 

Jeanette's advice; "Eat an apple, it boosts energy and ebbs hunger". I tried it but each time, I would swear I had an apple, I just didn't know where it had disappeared.

Clare's advise; "Drink warm water, it is filling and it warms the tummy". Apart from several trips to the bathroom, this advice didn't make any sense, I was still hungry.

Then I discovered the Daniel Fast.

Quite apart from losing weight, I desired a more intimate walk with God. A fast without an agenda ends up being a diet plan. I liked the idea of seeking God while disciplining my body. No sugar, no meat, just vegetables and water. It sounds torturous but it's not so bad, just a little bit.

I started the days in prayer. At every turn there was a temptation but having a reason to fast - things to pray over made it possible to get through the days. I felt extremely drained the first days, my head pounded, I visited the bathroom often but by the end of week 2, I was going steady. It wasn't strange that everything seemed to go horribly wrong during this time - it was a spiritual battle. My body protested but my spirit fortified.

I stuck to water, apples, nuts, bananas, carrots, greens and veges of all tribes. I begun to shade the weight.

At the end of the fast, I felt stronger and attempted to carry on the eating habits. I started at 145 pounds, I'm down to 140 or a little less. I know it doesn't sound very encouraging after all the hard work - cut me some slack.

Ever wonder why some people don't share their weight loss secrets? They say "It is stress" or "I don't know" or simply "Nothing! the weight is just coming off". Whaa! Don't believe them. It's just that their methods are suicidal and they don't want to share lest you chock. I know a lady who ate an orange for lunch. She would have coffee in the morning, an orange for lunch and soup for dinner. Oh and then she would go to the gym everyday without fail. Before I go on about other people let me share my habits, bad or good, I will let you decide.

Breakfast - A banana with coffee/tea. You get used to it.

Break - An apple or nuts

 

Lunch - A bowl of soup with a chapati or a bowl of salad (who knew it could be so filling)

Afternoon snack - An apple or an orange and nuts

Dinner time -  Rice or Irish or pasta but I major on sauce.

Drink warm water all day. 

Office stress and a busy home life account for some of the weight loss.

It's going well so far, most of my trouble is in the mid section. I can't quite get the muscles to firm up enough so at the moment I look a small pregnant woman.
 I'm not going to the gym until I have this weight where I want it. It's easier for me to maintain than try to lose weight on a tread mill.

Remember: The more you eat, the more you'll eat. The less you eat, the less you'll eat. Choose quality over quantity - more fruits and veggies. Portion control. Don't let your body lie to you. When it says "eat or you'll die" sometimes it's just being fussy and used to a certain routine. Ignore it, keep busy and you'll be shocked at how much more life is in your body. Hopefully at that point you'll realize you are not dead yet (smile).

Losing my "Ugandan-ness" one year at a time

There was a time I thought British Airways was calling my name to board a plane back to Uganda.
Things that were seemingly normal baffled me, the addiction to coffee for example, I didn't understand why it ruled the world. A cup or the lack thereof dictated whether one's day went well or not. While tea did a fantastic job keeping Ugandans calm (maybe too calm), here, life didn't begin until the "cup of coffee", then there were bursts of energy and sudden flat valleys or near zombie-ish states.

Then the "I'm late" panic. Just like Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, there was no time to spare, no time to chat. Run here, run there, run everywhere, one needed a reminder just to breath.
 Grim faces in the bus, snarls on the train. I made sure to keep to myself lest someone lashed out. I avoided eye contact and didn't smile unless I knew the person.

There was hardly a support network to speak of especially when one needed help with child care. No dates, no movie nights, just mopping, cleaning and cooking and out went romance.
"Uganda is paradise!" I thought. I missed Rajib, the little boy at Nakawa Market who called on Saturday morning to say he was available to help with my shopping.
I missed Nicole, who was ever ready to braid my hair in 4 hours or less for 20 bucks.
There was a salon at every corner. I could have my nails vanished in no time.
I missed the luscious fruits and local dishes like ebo, emalakany and atap.
I missed the days I could go out gallivanting knowing that someone was home to care for my kids.

One year down the road, there has been adaptation and assimilation.

"There has been an alteration in the structure and function of this organism, parts that have resulted from natural selection and by which this organism has become better fitted to survive and multiply in its environment".

I drink coffee almost each morning. It all started one morning, when I got to office feeling exhausted, I couldn't pay attention to the tasks set before me. I had deadlines to beat and things to do. Instead of drinking my usual cup of warm water, I made a cup of coffee and whoa! it was an instant energizer, amazing! I took one the next day and the next and tomorrow I will have another cup.

I roll my tongue when talking with colleagues. My Ugandan friends would deny me straight up if they heard me speak in office. This is one of the few times I'm  glad none of them are any where near. It's not exactly intentional but when you constantly interact with colleagues who speak a certain way, it rubs off. They pronounce words in a certain style and only seem to understand me better when I say it the way they do. So there I go strressing my "r's" and moving my lowerrr jaw this way and that :-). I have caught myself a few times and smiled because it is furrnny like that.

Because life is "chap-chap", I am "chap-chap". Unless it is lunch hour chances are I'm headed somewhere to accomplish a particular task. If I'm heading home, I've got to get to the train station by 4:50pm to catch the train that will arrive at Vienna by 5:20pm in order to catch my bus at 5:26pm, which will get home at 6:00pm so I can whip up a meal for my people and so on. If I meet friends around these times, it's gonna be a "hi - bye" situation. Any slight delay causes a domino effect on all plans for the day.

A typical day is filled  with scheduled meetings, assignments to finish, deadlines to beat. So, in the busy mechanics of the day, lunch hour is the only time the machine stops for a break, then I can sit and chat.

Please don't touch my weekends!

I used to get really upset when bazungu gave forced smiles on the streets of Kampala. They grinned obviously without feeling. The grin was wiped off as soon as they walked past which I considered rude.

Now, imagine my self chastising when I did the same thing in office. My thought process went something like this: "Hey! I know we work together, I don't know your name or what you do, I'm not about to stop to talk but I acknowledge you". 

There are more mannerisms that have crept in. I need to keep tabs on them lest I lose all my Ugandan-ness (If ever there was such a things).