My two cents on this Tenth Anniversary
Time flies when you’re having fun!
1997-1999. 2 awesome years of waiting on the mail man, secretly praying that when I checked the mail book at the KPC reception I would see my name or that the Maria would say “Hi Mary, you’ve got mail”.
1999-2000. A brilliant mind invented Internet and my troubles matured to Eudora, inventing a yahoo email address and typing a message finger by slow finger like I was bursting bubbles with each key; Finding an internet café or tracking down Koma at the MUK computer lab and then queuing for the one PC that everyone wanted to use. Oh! How my heart would sink when I saw “No unread messages”.
So the virtual relationship lasted 3 years. In the 4th year we wed. I said my vows eagerly – I was marrying my best friend. We enjoyed 2 years of blissful companion ship before Mich showed up, then life changed. There was a lot more on my plate – a baby who depended on me, a husband who felt threatened by this little bundle of “selfishness”; church ministry took a back sit, keeping friendships and a career became immense hard work . A whole new world!
My waist line got erased and kilos crept on with relatives and friends. With all the exhaustion and frustration came misunderstandings, arguments and stress. Do we still love each other? Are we growing apart? Was this love thing for real? The commitment to talking things through, facing the nasty things about one’s self, owning up for mistakes, understanding that we are both not perfect and struggling to keep Jesus in the picture helps us through the rough patches.
7 years later Amani made her grand entry.
Family comes first; working after hours is not encouraged. Ask questions, read between the lines. Spend time together, you’ll argue more, rub each other the wrong way more but in the process you’ll understand each other better.
Never underestimate backgrounds, childhood experiences and family traditions. For a while I thought Sam came from the craziest family ever and he thought my family had lost it. It was as though we were the only two sane survivors from either side but we didn’t totally escape. Just like a person who passes through smoke comes away with a whiff, we each had our family scents. One quick example; My dad always bought groceries, he came home with chicken, bread, sugar, snacks, bananas e.t.c No, he was not given a shopping list and no, it was not expected of him, but each time we were all pleasantly surprised. On the other hand Sam’s mom did all the shopping without any exceptions. So you can imagine my chaos and speechlessnessssssss when he would come home empty handed after passing a supermarket. Expectations, assumptions, very key. The more time I spent with his family the more I understood the “whys” and the “where for’s” and he likewise, but I advise that you spend the time in small doses, an over doze in a short period can be fatal.
Our roles have been defined along the way. He is disciplined with money, so he handles the family finances. I love to eat so the kitchen is my territory.
We celebrate each other’s victories; Job promotions, recognitions, opportunities, successes. We have had the opportunity to suffer loss too. When Sam lost his job a few years ago it was a crisis. He needed encouragement, reassurance and space. I never saw him more vulnerable and partly I didn’t understand it, so at times I wasn’t sure how to handle him, so I took him to The Cross and prayed that some guy would reach out to him so they could speak the same language. A year or two before that I lost two handsome little boys and devastated can hardly describe my state at the time. Sam couldn’t quite fill the void or soothe the hurt so I run to The Cross. Along the way we have realized that he can’t be everything to me and neither can I to him. Jesus has continued to be our corner stone and then out of the blue a friend calls and they are a breath of fresh air, a just-in-time blessing because they understand the situation so well and can finish our sentences.
Do we get attracted to other people? Of course! It’s what you do with it that makes all the difference. Intimacy? It can be a trick especially after kids – exhaustion, too many demands from every corner, monotony, life!!! But like the marriage, you work at it.
10 years on, the love continues to marinate.
Because He lives we can handle tomorrow.
1997-1999. 2 awesome years of waiting on the mail man, secretly praying that when I checked the mail book at the KPC reception I would see my name or that the Maria would say “Hi Mary, you’ve got mail”.
1999-2000. A brilliant mind invented Internet and my troubles matured to Eudora, inventing a yahoo email address and typing a message finger by slow finger like I was bursting bubbles with each key; Finding an internet café or tracking down Koma at the MUK computer lab and then queuing for the one PC that everyone wanted to use. Oh! How my heart would sink when I saw “No unread messages”.
So the virtual relationship lasted 3 years. In the 4th year we wed. I said my vows eagerly – I was marrying my best friend. We enjoyed 2 years of blissful companion ship before Mich showed up, then life changed. There was a lot more on my plate – a baby who depended on me, a husband who felt threatened by this little bundle of “selfishness”; church ministry took a back sit, keeping friendships and a career became immense hard work . A whole new world!
My waist line got erased and kilos crept on with relatives and friends. With all the exhaustion and frustration came misunderstandings, arguments and stress. Do we still love each other? Are we growing apart? Was this love thing for real? The commitment to talking things through, facing the nasty things about one’s self, owning up for mistakes, understanding that we are both not perfect and struggling to keep Jesus in the picture helps us through the rough patches.
7 years later Amani made her grand entry.
Family comes first; working after hours is not encouraged. Ask questions, read between the lines. Spend time together, you’ll argue more, rub each other the wrong way more but in the process you’ll understand each other better.
Never underestimate backgrounds, childhood experiences and family traditions. For a while I thought Sam came from the craziest family ever and he thought my family had lost it. It was as though we were the only two sane survivors from either side but we didn’t totally escape. Just like a person who passes through smoke comes away with a whiff, we each had our family scents. One quick example; My dad always bought groceries, he came home with chicken, bread, sugar, snacks, bananas e.t.c No, he was not given a shopping list and no, it was not expected of him, but each time we were all pleasantly surprised. On the other hand Sam’s mom did all the shopping without any exceptions. So you can imagine my chaos and speechlessnessssssss when he would come home empty handed after passing a supermarket. Expectations, assumptions, very key. The more time I spent with his family the more I understood the “whys” and the “where for’s” and he likewise, but I advise that you spend the time in small doses, an over doze in a short period can be fatal.
Our roles have been defined along the way. He is disciplined with money, so he handles the family finances. I love to eat so the kitchen is my territory.
We celebrate each other’s victories; Job promotions, recognitions, opportunities, successes. We have had the opportunity to suffer loss too. When Sam lost his job a few years ago it was a crisis. He needed encouragement, reassurance and space. I never saw him more vulnerable and partly I didn’t understand it, so at times I wasn’t sure how to handle him, so I took him to The Cross and prayed that some guy would reach out to him so they could speak the same language. A year or two before that I lost two handsome little boys and devastated can hardly describe my state at the time. Sam couldn’t quite fill the void or soothe the hurt so I run to The Cross. Along the way we have realized that he can’t be everything to me and neither can I to him. Jesus has continued to be our corner stone and then out of the blue a friend calls and they are a breath of fresh air, a just-in-time blessing because they understand the situation so well and can finish our sentences.
Do we get attracted to other people? Of course! It’s what you do with it that makes all the difference. Intimacy? It can be a trick especially after kids – exhaustion, too many demands from every corner, monotony, life!!! But like the marriage, you work at it.
10 years on, the love continues to marinate.
Because He lives we can handle tomorrow.
oh wow, congratulations.
ReplyDeleteThis is Beautiful and with Jesus in a Home the days pass by blissfully
ReplyDeletea crush course to any relationship and marriage..when my time comes can i come for more insight..?
ReplyDeleteYour post is very encourage not just from relationship point of very but the fact that - with christ we can be and caan do anything. without him we are nothing.
Thanxs hun..
Happy anniversary
Happy Anniversary and a prayer for many many more. Thank you for sharing the love.
ReplyDeleteThanks good people.
ReplyDelete