Clueless
Who knew that raising a child would be so intense?
These months at home have exposed interesting traits in Mich that I never knew existed.
“I don’t want to greet”
“Mummy but why should I be polite?”
“That is not what I planned to do”
“Hugging people should not be all the time”
“No!”
“I’m not going to do it”
“No!”
“I will never ever go for a sleep over ever again”
“NO, NO, NO!!!!”
What happened to being kind and taking turns? what about being polite?, I thought these were things we had talked about and dealt with.
Maybe I wasn’t keen to nip these bad habits while they were budding.
I’m sure there are more responses than I could care to mention here.
It’s extremely embarrassing when a child acts contrary to “social norms”, all the blame is cast on the parents, particularly the mom.
At some point I felt hopeless- okay maybe that is a strong word but I really did, it seemed like the two years I spent with him didn’t make the desired impact.
I am now reminded that we are fallen creatures, we are sinful to the core that is just our nature, no one needs to teach us that. It’s the essence of who we are whether we are new arrivals on this planet or ancient inhabitants, we are wicked and that is why we all need Jesus.
I can force/coerce/command Mich to act the right way but as long as he doesn’t have a change of heart it’s all in vain. I need to teach him the principle behind the “do”, I need to help him realize the sinfulness of his very being and point him to Jesus. I have to constantly pray because this is in effect a battle of the soul.
I’m also coming to the conclusion that I probably haven’t been engaging him as I ought.
School has been a rather interesting experience these past few months. One day he is looking forward to it, the next he literally wants to shrivel and disappear at the thought. At the start I thought it was the adjusting process but as the days went by he wasn’t taking it any better. Different study styles? The content? The environment? The teachers? I don’t know. School in Philly was great - this is a whole different ball game.
Even then we are still in the adjusting mode, in a few weeks we will be in Dallas and the process is likely to start over again.
Quite apart from the fact that I feel overwhelmed and odd when Mich acts up in some weird new way, or says something I never imagined, I also acknowledge that he is in new surroundings. He is meeting new people everyday and doesn’t quite know where to place them – what part do they play in his life? How should he treat them?
For a long time it has just been mom and dad now every one here wants to be at the centre of his life (in a good way), his natural response is to protect or defend himself.
It has taken me a while to adjust to being back home how much more Mich who had no recollection of his home?
Last night it dawned on me that even though we tend to belittle kids feelings and reactions they are real and they are a result of something or the other. Mich woke up crying, when asked what the matter was he said he wanted his daddy – duh!
It’s been almost two months since Sam left to start work in Dallas.
How could I forget that a child needs the stability of having both parents around to feel secure and more especially when that is all he has known for the past four critical years of his life?
A child needs both parents, the love from mom and the firm hand from dad or vice versa depending on who has which strengths – or may be not. Maybe God has duties cut out for each parent and when one can’t have both he raises up someone else to play that part or equips the one available I don’t know.
I guess it takes for certain experiences to draw out the thoughts of the heart, if they are never provoked then we never know.
These months at home have exposed interesting traits in Mich that I never knew existed.
“I don’t want to greet”
“Mummy but why should I be polite?”
“That is not what I planned to do”
“Hugging people should not be all the time”
“No!”
“I’m not going to do it”
“No!”
“I will never ever go for a sleep over ever again”
“NO, NO, NO!!!!”
What happened to being kind and taking turns? what about being polite?, I thought these were things we had talked about and dealt with.
Maybe I wasn’t keen to nip these bad habits while they were budding.
I’m sure there are more responses than I could care to mention here.
It’s extremely embarrassing when a child acts contrary to “social norms”, all the blame is cast on the parents, particularly the mom.
At some point I felt hopeless- okay maybe that is a strong word but I really did, it seemed like the two years I spent with him didn’t make the desired impact.
I am now reminded that we are fallen creatures, we are sinful to the core that is just our nature, no one needs to teach us that. It’s the essence of who we are whether we are new arrivals on this planet or ancient inhabitants, we are wicked and that is why we all need Jesus.
I can force/coerce/command Mich to act the right way but as long as he doesn’t have a change of heart it’s all in vain. I need to teach him the principle behind the “do”, I need to help him realize the sinfulness of his very being and point him to Jesus. I have to constantly pray because this is in effect a battle of the soul.
I’m also coming to the conclusion that I probably haven’t been engaging him as I ought.
School has been a rather interesting experience these past few months. One day he is looking forward to it, the next he literally wants to shrivel and disappear at the thought. At the start I thought it was the adjusting process but as the days went by he wasn’t taking it any better. Different study styles? The content? The environment? The teachers? I don’t know. School in Philly was great - this is a whole different ball game.
Even then we are still in the adjusting mode, in a few weeks we will be in Dallas and the process is likely to start over again.
Quite apart from the fact that I feel overwhelmed and odd when Mich acts up in some weird new way, or says something I never imagined, I also acknowledge that he is in new surroundings. He is meeting new people everyday and doesn’t quite know where to place them – what part do they play in his life? How should he treat them?
For a long time it has just been mom and dad now every one here wants to be at the centre of his life (in a good way), his natural response is to protect or defend himself.
It has taken me a while to adjust to being back home how much more Mich who had no recollection of his home?
Last night it dawned on me that even though we tend to belittle kids feelings and reactions they are real and they are a result of something or the other. Mich woke up crying, when asked what the matter was he said he wanted his daddy – duh!
It’s been almost two months since Sam left to start work in Dallas.
How could I forget that a child needs the stability of having both parents around to feel secure and more especially when that is all he has known for the past four critical years of his life?
A child needs both parents, the love from mom and the firm hand from dad or vice versa depending on who has which strengths – or may be not. Maybe God has duties cut out for each parent and when one can’t have both he raises up someone else to play that part or equips the one available I don’t know.
I guess it takes for certain experiences to draw out the thoughts of the heart, if they are never provoked then we never know.
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