After the Fast
The Fast ended and life continued.
I was tired of trying so hard to please my manager. I'd hit bottom, there was no further to fall. Something snapped and suddenly I wasn't going to try so hard any more.
Standing at the bus stop one morning, I had a brief conversation with God in which I expressed my frustration. Then I had a light bulb moment, I was reminded that my life is not about me, it's all about God and His purposes to perform, even when it makes no sense to me. I was helpless, unarmed - a reminder that I was nothing without Him. My attempts to twist His arm, begging Him to perform miracles didn’t work. He chose to do what He willed, even if it meant looking foolish which I did. I remember thinking, "This must be what it's like to be stupid and totally clueless. Your head is spinning, you don't know whether you are coming or going." But how God was using this for His glory remained a mystery to me.
In a brief meeting with my manager she identified one of my strengths and then proceeded to shred me to pieces. I took the rebuke respectfully. I guess showing up to office every day was a sign of my madness so she gave me a second chance. I was both shocked and relieved. Shocked that a second chance was even a possibility and relieved that the conversation, the moment of truth was finally behind me. I thanked her profusely (I think) and promised to improve my performance.
It's over a month since our meeting and I'm happy to report that my job doesn't feel like a crash course in Chinese and Arabic all at once.
I'm hitting assignments smack in the center and compliments aren't so scarce.
Something about my disposition under pressure and intensity shone through.
My strengths and weaknesses were exposed in 3 short months.
Now I know the areas that need work and those that should keep shining.
I’m beginning to understand the culture and the unwritten rules; Confidence, Work, work, work (no matter what it takes), be articulate, be loud, be energized, be assertive.
I still make mistakes from time to time but there is no fear, I know God's got my back.
In ALL things, not some but ALL things God works for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose.
That brings me to Oswald Chambers and the reading of May 15 from "My Utmost For His Highest"
The Habit of Rising to the Occasion. . . that you may know what is the hope of His calling . . . —Ephesians 1:18
Remember that you have been saved so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in your body (see 2 Corinthians 4:10). Direct the total energy of your powers so that you may achieve everything your election as a child of God provides; rise every time to whatever occasion may come your way.
You did not do anything to achieve your salvation, but you must do something to exhibit it. You must “work out your own salvation” which God has worked in you already (Philippians 2:12). Are your speech, your thinking, and your emotions evidence that you are working it “out”? If you are still the same miserable, grouchy person, set on having your own way, then it is a lie to say that God has saved and sanctified you.
God is the Master Designer, and He allows adversities into your life to see if you can jump over them properly—”By my God I can leap over a wall” (Psalm 18:29). God will never shield you from the requirements of being His son or daughter. First Peter 4:12 says, “Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you . . . .” Rise to the occasion—do what the trial demands of you. It does not matter how much it hurts as long as it gives God the opportunity to manifest the life of Jesus in your body.
May God not find complaints in us anymore, but spiritual vitality—a readiness to face anything He brings our way. The only proper goal of life is that we manifest the Son of God; and when this occurs, all of our dictating of our demands to God disappears. Our Lord never dictated demands to His Father, and neither are we to make demands on God. We are here to submit to His will so that He may work through us what He wants. Once we realize this, He will make us broken bread and poured-out wine with which to feed and nourish others.
I was tired of trying so hard to please my manager. I'd hit bottom, there was no further to fall. Something snapped and suddenly I wasn't going to try so hard any more.
Standing at the bus stop one morning, I had a brief conversation with God in which I expressed my frustration. Then I had a light bulb moment, I was reminded that my life is not about me, it's all about God and His purposes to perform, even when it makes no sense to me. I was helpless, unarmed - a reminder that I was nothing without Him. My attempts to twist His arm, begging Him to perform miracles didn’t work. He chose to do what He willed, even if it meant looking foolish which I did. I remember thinking, "This must be what it's like to be stupid and totally clueless. Your head is spinning, you don't know whether you are coming or going." But how God was using this for His glory remained a mystery to me.
In a brief meeting with my manager she identified one of my strengths and then proceeded to shred me to pieces. I took the rebuke respectfully. I guess showing up to office every day was a sign of my madness so she gave me a second chance. I was both shocked and relieved. Shocked that a second chance was even a possibility and relieved that the conversation, the moment of truth was finally behind me. I thanked her profusely (I think) and promised to improve my performance.
It's over a month since our meeting and I'm happy to report that my job doesn't feel like a crash course in Chinese and Arabic all at once.
I'm hitting assignments smack in the center and compliments aren't so scarce.
Something about my disposition under pressure and intensity shone through.
My strengths and weaknesses were exposed in 3 short months.
Now I know the areas that need work and those that should keep shining.
I’m beginning to understand the culture and the unwritten rules; Confidence, Work, work, work (no matter what it takes), be articulate, be loud, be energized, be assertive.
I still make mistakes from time to time but there is no fear, I know God's got my back.
In ALL things, not some but ALL things God works for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose.
That brings me to Oswald Chambers and the reading of May 15 from "My Utmost For His Highest"
The Habit of Rising to the Occasion. . . that you may know what is the hope of His calling . . . —Ephesians 1:18
Remember that you have been saved so that the life of Jesus may be manifested in your body (see 2 Corinthians 4:10). Direct the total energy of your powers so that you may achieve everything your election as a child of God provides; rise every time to whatever occasion may come your way.
You did not do anything to achieve your salvation, but you must do something to exhibit it. You must “work out your own salvation” which God has worked in you already (Philippians 2:12). Are your speech, your thinking, and your emotions evidence that you are working it “out”? If you are still the same miserable, grouchy person, set on having your own way, then it is a lie to say that God has saved and sanctified you.
God is the Master Designer, and He allows adversities into your life to see if you can jump over them properly—”By my God I can leap over a wall” (Psalm 18:29). God will never shield you from the requirements of being His son or daughter. First Peter 4:12 says, “Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you . . . .” Rise to the occasion—do what the trial demands of you. It does not matter how much it hurts as long as it gives God the opportunity to manifest the life of Jesus in your body.
May God not find complaints in us anymore, but spiritual vitality—a readiness to face anything He brings our way. The only proper goal of life is that we manifest the Son of God; and when this occurs, all of our dictating of our demands to God disappears. Our Lord never dictated demands to His Father, and neither are we to make demands on God. We are here to submit to His will so that He may work through us what He wants. Once we realize this, He will make us broken bread and poured-out wine with which to feed and nourish others.
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