Perspective

Sunset on a Turkish air flight to Kampala

Do you ever wish for innocence again?

I do.

Do you ever wish you’d stayed young, 18, maybe 12 - free of life’s cares?

I do.

Sometimes I wish I could un-feel things, un-hear things, un-think things, un-see things.

Ah!! But life won’t let. Life grabs you like a big cuddly clawed bear, it flings you around, knocks every bone out of joint. The heart expands, emotions heighten with each new thrill, each new pain, each new pleasure, each new heartache.

You learn to trust less, you learn to forgive more, you learn to be more cautious, more committed, less patient, more forceful. You learn. You unlearn.

They say, “How are you?”

You think, “What do they want?”

They say, “I missed you”

You think, “What do I owe?”

You say, “I’m fine!”

They think, “What’s she not saying?”

It’s exhausting!

Look at the bright side.

There’s no bright side inside.

It’s dark this inside, gloomy this inside.

Longing for light - the soul source or sole source.

The sole source that rearranges, reassures, refreshes, reforms, reinvigorates, renews, restores, revives.

This little red, pulsating organ, that throbs within a cage needs to locate that soul source.

Rest.

Eh! But I can really be melancholic.

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