Chapter 16

It's good to try something different.
That, for some might mean tasting frogs, bungee jumping, going skiing - well, you fill in the gap.

I'm going to try my hand at writing a best-seller, no? okey a seller?!- something. Hoping that you will not delete my blog after this.

It was a drab, wintry night in mid december,
the air outside was choked with snow flakes and gusty winds.
She clasped her hands and prayed as she looked out the car window -
"Lord, Is there any chance of a miracle? a different report?
You know I don't want this - No Lord, please - I'm weary".

Her heart skipped a beat, jolted out of a prayerful mode by the sensation of the little life moving and kicking in her womb.
She caressed her belly, "hush my little one, don't kick mummy too hard" - even though she relished being awakened to the wonder in her womb - the movements made her wince.
She recalled carrying her first child and the thrill that pattering gave.
Why was it so excruciating this time? could the baby sense her strife? was her body escalating the intensity of the problem at hand? or was her little one engrossed a blissful dance, oblivious of events in the world beyond the womb?

As the car pulled up the hospital drive way her heart sank, she could almost feel it making it's way down, passed her lungs, round her intestines, headed straight to the bottom of her belly.
"Lord, is this it?"
There was no answer.

She slowly, carefully, wrapped her scarf around her neck - with a distant look in her eyes, zipped up her jacket and opened the door. With one hand firmly griping the support handle and one below her belly, she placed one foot out of the car, then grimacingly inched forward. It seemed with every passing moment, her stomach got heavier.
Her husband brought the wheel chair close enough so she could sit.
As she raised out of the car their eyes met.
He looked sad - it was a painful night.

She recalled the night, three days before, when she had rushed to hospital; the vacant look in the doctor's eyes as she told her they couldn't save her baby.
How she shook like a leaf, certain that she was losing her mind.
The doctor said she was in labour at only 21 weeks - her cervix was dilating, the situation irreversable.
She recalled, lying on the hospital bed that night, tears streaming down her cheeks, wondering how this happened.
She shut her eyes tight, wishing she could vanish.

In this new country without a friend or a relative to hold her hand.

Her best friend and partner was at home with their son because these people didn't believe in house help, how was a woman expected to work, cook, clean and be wife and mother all at the same time. It was because of this new culture that her husband couldn't be there to hold her when she needed him most.
"Lord, why?
Her heart was pounded intensly, she could barely think.

Looking out her hospital room window, the world was bustling with life - Christmas lights on every street corner, cars whizzing passed in all directions. The merriment of the season was passing her by.
Nobody cared for her misfortune, she didn't exist.

In that room, surrounded by four white walls, she faced death.


Her family was miles away; across the ocean, in another time zone, another place.
She cried out to the Lord again and in the chaos of a wondering mind, a strained heart, a body out of control - she heard a voice saying "FEAR NOT MY CHILD, I'M WITH YOU"
The undeniable voice of her heavenly father.