Clueless

Who knew that raising a child would be so intense?
These months at home have exposed interesting traits in Mich that I never knew existed.

“I don’t want to greet”
“Mummy but why should I be polite?”
“That is not what I planned to do”
“Hugging people should not be all the time”
“No!”
“I’m not going to do it”
“No!”
“I will never ever go for a sleep over ever again”
“NO, NO, NO!!!!”

What happened to being kind and taking turns? what about being polite?, I thought these were things we had talked about and dealt with.
Maybe I wasn’t keen to nip these bad habits while they were budding.
I’m sure there are more responses than I could care to mention here.
It’s extremely embarrassing when a child acts contrary to “social norms”, all the blame is cast on the parents, particularly the mom.
At some point I felt hopeless- okay maybe that is a strong word but I really did, it seemed like the two years I spent with him didn’t make the desired impact.
I am now reminded that we are fallen creatures, we are sinful to the core that is just our nature, no one needs to teach us that. It’s the essence of who we are whether we are new arrivals on this planet or ancient inhabitants, we are wicked and that is why we all need Jesus.
I can force/coerce/command Mich to act the right way but as long as he doesn’t have a change of heart it’s all in vain. I need to teach him the principle behind the “do”, I need to help him realize the sinfulness of his very being and point him to Jesus. I have to constantly pray because this is in effect a battle of the soul.
I’m also coming to the conclusion that I probably haven’t been engaging him as I ought.

School has been a rather interesting experience these past few months. One day he is looking forward to it, the next he literally wants to shrivel and disappear at the thought. At the start I thought it was the adjusting process but as the days went by he wasn’t taking it any better. Different study styles? The content? The environment? The teachers? I don’t know. School in Philly was great - this is a whole different ball game.
Even then we are still in the adjusting mode, in a few weeks we will be in Dallas and the process is likely to start over again.
Quite apart from the fact that I feel overwhelmed and odd when Mich acts up in some weird new way, or says something I never imagined, I also acknowledge that he is in new surroundings. He is meeting new people everyday and doesn’t quite know where to place them – what part do they play in his life? How should he treat them?
For a long time it has just been mom and dad now every one here wants to be at the centre of his life (in a good way), his natural response is to protect or defend himself.
It has taken me a while to adjust to being back home how much more Mich who had no recollection of his home?

Last night it dawned on me that even though we tend to belittle kids feelings and reactions they are real and they are a result of something or the other. Mich woke up crying, when asked what the matter was he said he wanted his daddy – duh!
It’s been almost two months since Sam left to start work in Dallas.
How could I forget that a child needs the stability of having both parents around to feel secure and more especially when that is all he has known for the past four critical years of his life?
A child needs both parents, the love from mom and the firm hand from dad or vice versa depending on who has which strengths – or may be not. Maybe God has duties cut out for each parent and when one can’t have both he raises up someone else to play that part or equips the one available I don’t know.
I guess it takes for certain experiences to draw out the thoughts of the heart, if they are never provoked then we never know.

Miss blogging

Oh my blog, how I miss you.
It's just so hard to keep posting my stuff pronto.. The issues of typing it out, uploading it, getting to office... before I know it a month has gone by and the news is a wee bit stale but the struggle continues.

Since the last time I fumed about my buddies on the blog,we have since made up. They have called me up when I least expected, invited me to their homes, Mich has had sleep overs, so I'm a happier woman.
Meanwhile I was asked to lead worship as a back up, that was exciting reminded me of the good ol days.
Something else, I wrote an article and it was published in the Newvision newspaper, that was exciting, now I need to go collect my money. It's not much but hey! it's "ma ne".

Mich is still yoyoing with school, can't tell if he will be thrilled or bawling about going to school the next day.

Lost in transition

I came to Uganda anticipating a time of reconnecting with friends, church and former colleagues. Our first meetings were awesome, there was excitement seeing one another again. However if I bumped into them a third time it felt awkward. Somehow there is nothing more to say, so I’m thinking- maybe I should have kept my visit shorter then everything would have remained spicy. Now - yes we’ve met, yes we’ve said hello, yes we’ve kind of caught up but no, it’s not the same. “Life has happened” we have had different experiences that kind of stretch us in new directions, now we can’t exactly identify with one another.
Then I walk into church - the place I called my second home, the place where I once sang in the choir, the place where I knew almost every one and every one knew me.
I could hardly recognize the faces, I was being told not to do this, “move over there”, “uh no, you can’t sit there”, and by who? People I don’t even know, oh! Feels like coming back to my house and finding new occupants.
Nothing prepared me for that change, 2 weeks away from church is a long time, a thousand and one new things take place, what ever made me think that 2 years away would be anything less?
I continue to learn that comfort zones are a no no in Gods kingdom. He doesn’t want us to get to a place of complacency, a place of familiarity; He always wants us to be on our toes. I must admit I miss the good old days, but that’s what they are going to remain. The days when I would chat with almost every one, or the evenings we would have bible study then stay around hours after it was over just chatting. Pastor Gary would joke about how we stayed at church as though we didn’t have homes to go to.
Every where I turn there is a new face. It’s a good thing I guess - it means the church is growing; my only worry is that it might be growing wide but not deep but then again that is why we have cells.
“We are an English speaking cell based community church, celebrating Christ, growing and multiplying as each one reaches one, touching those around us with the love of Jesus, bringing healing to the city and to the nation”. That is the KPC vision.

Back to my friends and the awkwardness, it’s feels like there is some kind of embarrassment - avoiding eye contact like there is something to be ashamed of.
Ok, I need to get with the fact that things will not be the same, I have to embrace the new and move on.
In a matter of weeks I will be out of here, starting a new life in a different city so I better save my energies for the new relationships I’m going to pursue.

Mich and school

It's almost a month since Mich started kindergarten in Kampala. We figured it would be a good experience for him, interacting, playing and learning with other kids.

The first day was a sweet sour experience, dropping him off and saying “bye Mich, see you later, be a good boy, have fun, don’t fight, I love you”. Now I know you may say, wasn’t Mich going to play school in Philly, why does school here have to be such a shake up? I don’t know.
I’m thinking that maybe it’s the seriousness with which school is regarded over here. In Philly reporting time was 9 o’clock, kids of all ages were in the same play area. There was no formality to it, no uniforms, and no classes as such. All I needed to do was sign him in, and make sure he has entered the class. From that point it was up to him to either join the kids playing with Lego, running around, painting, fixing puzzles, reading or playing instruments. Then at some point they would go to the play ground run around, have a little snack, listen to a story and then go home.
Mich’s first day at Aga Khan;
We drive into the school parking lot and the head mistress and one other teacher are eagerly welcoming children as they are being dropped off by their parents/guardians. Mich was given extra attention because this was his first day of school, we were escorted to the administration block where we met his class teacher. She had a wonderful smile and was extremely enthusiastic, it was a little scary. Then again she wasn’t the only one; all the other teachers had similar energy and enthusiasm. I thought hmm these teachers seem to love the children like they were their own, that’s a good thing.
Three hours later when I went to pick Mich up, I found them all seated on the school veranda waiting. Mich wasn’t there though, he was moving around with one of his teacher.
When I asked him how his day was he put on his serious face and said it wasn’t good, he didn’t like it. There was no explanation for why it wasn’t good, either that or he didn’t want to talk about it. The funny thing is he couldn’t stop talking about the different things he did, that left me a little confused.
Next morning he didn’t want to go to school so there was a lot of talk about how cool he would look in his new uniform and stuff, before I knew it he was off. He left me with instructions to be there on time, he wanted to find me waiting when he got out.
It’s interesting watching the kids, they all seem quite content, skipping around, taking interest in any adults around, talking to each other, smiling, laughing – it’s clear that they love school and they are loved. I saw this one little boy run towards one of the teachers and wrap his arms tightly around her legs – he was clearly thrilled to see her again after the holidays. That was a sign that the teachers are good.
So I waited for school to end and then children started trickling out of their classes to the waiting area.
I saw Mich bouncing along with a big grin on his face, he was clearly happy, he said ‘mummy today was a little better’, I knew that was an understatement because he was obviously tripping over himself with a wealth of stories.

Watoto Conference - Celebrate the African Child

The show was described as “a unique cultural experience” – but in simple terms I would call it a praise rally. The Watoto children showed amazing talent, singing and dancing. We were transported to the central part of Uganda - Buganda for the “Bakusimba” dance, then all the way up North - Gulu for the “Bwola” dance, down to the west – Ankole for the “Kitogoro” and then flew to America for some hip-hop.
The Bakusimba dance involves vigorous movement of the back side (seriously, I’m not making this up) and legs to the rhythm of the drum. The Bwola dance (my favorite) is a dance of celebration involving movement of every part of the body. I loved the way the girls smiled and moved their necks back and forth gracefully like birds, they shook their waists from side to side and their legs moved like they were being pushed by a force which they were trying to resist. The leader would blow her whistle signaling the dancers to change formation.
The boys - I just love the way they dance, had feathers tied on their heads and calabashes in hand, as they danced they hit the calabashes with metal sticks making a “kwara kwara” sound.
The Kitogoro dance I think relates to cattle because the Banyankole are known to have large herds. The girls danced and raised their hands indicating the length of their cattle horns. The Ankole cattle have the longest horns in Uganda.
I sat in the parking lot, the place designated for the hundreds of people who couldn’t get into the main auditorium. It was the best place to sing and dance and make lots of noise.
Then to crown it all we had a show case of fire works, I tried to take a few pictures and this is how they turned out.

We all started home after that, looking forward to the Festival of Hope where all the KPC celebration points gathered at the Mandela Stadium.

Watoto Conference Day 3

The show was described as “a unique cultural experience” – but in simple terms I would call it a praise rally. The Watoto children showed amazing talent, singing and dancing. We traveled to central part of Uganda - Buganda for the “Bakusimba” dance, then all the way up North - Gulu for the “Bwola” dance, down to the west – Ankole for the “Kitogoro” and then flew to America for some hip-hop.
The Bakusimba dance involves vigorous movement of the back side (seriously, I’m not making this up) and legs to the rhythm of the drum. The Bwola dance (my favorite) is a dance of celebration involving movement of every part of the body. I loved the way the girls smiled and moved their necks back and forth gracefully like birds, they shook their waists from side to side and their legs moved like they were being pushed by a force which they were trying to resist, all to the rhythm of the drum. The leader would blow her whistle signaling the dancers to change formation.
The boys, I just love the way they dance, had feathers tied on their heads and calabashes in hand, they danced and the hit the calabashes with sticks making a “kwara kwara” sound.
The Kitogoro dance I think relates to cattle because the Banyankole are known to have large herds. The girls danced and raised their hands indicating the length of their cattle horns. The Ankole cattle have the longest horn in Uganda.
I sat in the parking lot, the place designated for the hundreds of people who couldn’t get into the main auditorium. It was the best place to sing and dance and make lots of noise.
Then to crown it all we had a show case of fire works, I tried to take a few pictures and this is how they turned out.
We all started home after that, looking forward to the Festival of Hope that all the KPC celebration points gather

Watoto Conference

KPC organized the 2nd Watoto Conference, hosting delegates from all over Africa and around the world. There were 500 delegates all together, 250 from Africa, 50 from the churches around Kampala and 200 from other parts of the world.
Gary feels God has called him to carry the vision of looking after widows and orphans, in Uganda they are mainly victims of the LRA war in Northern Uganda. The purpose of the conference was really to equip other pastors in Africa to replicate the Watoto model.
He put it something like this; - Hill song Australia is known for their wonderful worship, Yunghu Chow is known for the Cell model, and God has called him to lead in regard to looking after the widows and orphans.

The conference started on Wednesday but for many reasons I couldn’t attend, so I figured I would go for the Thursday morning session. It was open to the public and less crowded – I tell you, I don’t click KPC these days, its jam packed, actually over flowing and then some. Everybody wants to be the “one”, at some point if feels like competition. I will tell you that Sunday service kind of feels like getting into a movie theatre without allocated seating. Every one is rushing to enter and take a seat before the show begins, if you are late too bad, all the seats are gone, then the ushers try to find spaces, if not you are kindly or unkindly ushered to the overflow and that sucks.
Anyway I was talking about how I opted to attend the morning session. At 9 prompt, the worship begun, it was lead by non other than Darlene herself. I love her heart for God, she seems sold out through and through, she puts all her energies right there and you can see it. The music filled the temple, it was loud and clear and exciting, I jumped and danced, it’s always wonderful to ‘let down my hair’ in the presence of the Lord and among His people.
Marilyn Skinner talked about using our Christian faith to bring justice and hope, she quoted Jeremiah 22 that talks about putting the wrong things right. We as Christians should be impressed to make the community livable again.
She invited David a former LRA abducted child soldier to testify, my! You could have heard a pin drop as David’s story unfolded. I just thought, man! There times I think I have experienced some really painful things until I hear someone else tell what burden they are carrying.
David looked about 19 years old, he spoke slowly and clearly about how the LRA forced him to kill every living creature in the village as a form of initiation. When he accomplished that, he was congratulated with 150 strokes of the cane. He was told to get a uniform and a gun from a government soldier and of course the only way to do that was by killing him. He was told to kill babies by tying them to a tree and hitting them until they died. Oh! My heart broke, no one created in the image and likeness of God should ever do such things or have such things done to them. I was crushed.
Then he shared about the hope he now has in Christ, the night mares are gone, he is looking to a bright future and aspires to be a doctor.

The next speaker came as a big surprise to me; he was the last person I imagined but yet again the most appropriate. Norbert Mao, LC5 for Gulu district. He had an interesting speech. For starters he is not born again, he is a politician, so the whole idea of giving a talk in church was, well, uncomfortable (he said so himself).
I liked the fact that he embraced the opportunity; he said the one thing he had in common with Gary and Marilyn was they all ended up where they didn’t intend – Gary looking after widows and orphans, him becoming the M.P for Gulu.
He mentioned how Young Egland had called the war in Northern Uganda one the worlds most forgotten conflicts.
He acknowledged that Him and Gary were serving God in different ways and how that was an opportunity for them to partner. He said “There is no better place to start but through spiritual renewal”.
He ended on the most interesting note. A child once asked an adult what Jesus said when He rose from the dead, the adult was at a loss and the kid informed the adult that Jesus said “ta-da!” So just when the people of Northern Uganda thought all hope was lost, “ta-da!” Jesus showed up, Gary showed up and so on.

At the end of the morning session we were all in tears, I felt God was saying his heart is bleeding for these children.

After that Dr. Robi Sonderegger talked about his involvement in training the people in trauma rehabilitation. It’s about rescuing the widows and orphans (even the men), raising them up and rebuilding their lives. “It’s about people and community” he said, God is calling us to serve our community.



The next session I attended was Thursday evening, I got to the church and found a thick loooong line, people cueing up to enter the church. It was a sight to behold, I’m sure some people might have just turned around and gone home.
Turns out that the cue was for those interested in sitting in the auditorium, I didn’t mind sitting outside so I gladly went to the over flow. Security was tight, the volunteers were giving orders about where to sit, it was rather upsetting. I had never been on this side of things, I was always on the inside with the choir. Now I’m not sure if this is what all the other church members feel or it’s because I’ve known better.

The evening session begun and as I cried out to the Lord about how lost I felt, not feeling at home, at home, He asked me, “who are you looking for?”, that was enough to shut me up. I had a wonderful time, “I couldn’t find myself in Philly, and I can’t find myself in Uganda, but I always find Jesus”, that was the main point, what more would a woman want?