Still here
4am on the 14 of July (my official due date) and for some reason I can’t sleep. I kept tossing and turning and then lying very still wondering if that was a contraction. I gave up on pretending to sleep, made a cup of tea and surfed the net. The internet seems to understand me better than my doctor who needs to attend some communication classes.
So, it has been 2 weeks since my cerclage was removed and the show just hasn’t begun. There have been previews (mild contractions) but no real action. I’m short of saying am anxious. So I go to see Dr. Alex and all he asks is when we should schedule the c-section. Is there any good reason I need to go under the knife just yet? He doesn’t say. I want to know if I have started dilating but no, he won’t even do a physical exam, just checks if my pressure is good and touches my belly to gauge how far down baby has come. When I try to probe him further, he smiles and gives me this look of “I know what I am about and I have done what I need to do, now scurry along”. At the end of it all, he says if I haven’t started labor by the 21st, it’s a c-section for sure. This is when I run to my creator and ask Him to make my body function the way it should. He knows my physiology better than any doctor or scan machine can, so I ask Him to make things work.
The days have been long; I hear the clock ticking away – seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be full term, grateful that God has helped my body hold up to the end but eish!!! It’s hard not to be antsy. I’m continuously soaking my mind in Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Just when I’m getting to the point of rest, I receive calls from my concerned friends wondering if I forgot to let them know the big news. I’m tempted to set up voice mail-
“Hello, thanks for calling. Uh, no I haven’t given birth yet, don’t worry I will let you know when baby comes. Otherwise am good, just remember, don’t call me – I will call you”.
Checking on me is all good. I love the genuine respectful calls, the problem is people who sound more anxious and tired of me being pregnant than I am. The ones who from the time I was 7 months kept asking how come I hadn’t given birth yet – Not helpful at all.
It was nice to open my mail this morning and find this message.
"You can do this - I know it
Hey, you. Yep, you. The one feeling a little weary.
Carrying that load. Fighting this battle.
You're amazing, you know that? It's true.
And you can do this with Him. I know it. I feel it. Keep going.
It feels like your strength is small. But it's not. It's BIG.
World changing big.
Make-it-over-that-mountain big.
Big enough to do what you need to do.
Because your strength is as big as the GOD in you.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13
He sees you, loves you, will carry you through... and I'm cheering for you too."
So, it has been 2 weeks since my cerclage was removed and the show just hasn’t begun. There have been previews (mild contractions) but no real action. I’m short of saying am anxious. So I go to see Dr. Alex and all he asks is when we should schedule the c-section. Is there any good reason I need to go under the knife just yet? He doesn’t say. I want to know if I have started dilating but no, he won’t even do a physical exam, just checks if my pressure is good and touches my belly to gauge how far down baby has come. When I try to probe him further, he smiles and gives me this look of “I know what I am about and I have done what I need to do, now scurry along”. At the end of it all, he says if I haven’t started labor by the 21st, it’s a c-section for sure. This is when I run to my creator and ask Him to make my body function the way it should. He knows my physiology better than any doctor or scan machine can, so I ask Him to make things work.
The days have been long; I hear the clock ticking away – seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be full term, grateful that God has helped my body hold up to the end but eish!!! It’s hard not to be antsy. I’m continuously soaking my mind in Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Just when I’m getting to the point of rest, I receive calls from my concerned friends wondering if I forgot to let them know the big news. I’m tempted to set up voice mail-
“Hello, thanks for calling. Uh, no I haven’t given birth yet, don’t worry I will let you know when baby comes. Otherwise am good, just remember, don’t call me – I will call you”.
Checking on me is all good. I love the genuine respectful calls, the problem is people who sound more anxious and tired of me being pregnant than I am. The ones who from the time I was 7 months kept asking how come I hadn’t given birth yet – Not helpful at all.
It was nice to open my mail this morning and find this message.
"You can do this - I know it
Hey, you. Yep, you. The one feeling a little weary.
Carrying that load. Fighting this battle.
You're amazing, you know that? It's true.
And you can do this with Him. I know it. I feel it. Keep going.
It feels like your strength is small. But it's not. It's BIG.
World changing big.
Make-it-over-that-mountain big.
Big enough to do what you need to do.
Because your strength is as big as the GOD in you.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13
He sees you, loves you, will carry you through... and I'm cheering for you too."
I've missed out on alot! All the best...
ReplyDeleteThanks Tricia :-)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the birth of little Amani!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kim
ReplyDelete