God is beautiful

Continued

At 7:04 am on June 5th, Nziiza was born. Nziiza is the attribute of God being beautiful. The nurses asked Sam and I if we wanted to see him and we said most definitely.
They cleaned him up and brought him to us. He was alive, the cutest, He looked just like his dad. I held him in my arms, it was a surreal moment, almost unbelievable.
I felt like I was looking at God Himself, it was as though I left my body and was looking down at me from above.
It was scary, it was awesome, it was heart breaking, it was shocking, it was everything.
You know how you blink and hope you will see something else when you open your eyes?, yeah it was some what like that. I felt like I was in another realm.
I gave him to Sam, we cried and prayed and gave him Jesus.
God's presence was so real in that hospital room, I can not tell you how much. Sometimes words can not do things justice.
At the end of it all I was exhausted, I fell asleep.

I woke a few hours later and oh! how it sunk that it hadn't been a bad dream. I was in hospital and Sam was right next to me. The song that immediately came to mind was ...


"Though the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm.
Father you are king over the flood, I will be still and know you are God".
There's a strength I found in acknowlegding God's power.
Then I remembered Andrew. The last Sunday before leaving for Dallas, the Lord had laid it on Andrew's heart that Sam was going through a tough experience or that it would happen in the near future. The encouragement was that God would be with him through it all. That was spooky then.
Now I knew that God saw this coming and sent someone to tell us that He would be there.

The hospital offered to bury Nziiza, we couldn't take his body anywhere anyway. One, we were visiting in Memphis two, we were visiting in Dallas three, we were visiting in Philadelphia. Home was far, far, away. Then they brought us a cute little box that had the very first clothes that Nziiza put on. They included his little hand and foot prints, a few pictures and a card. I remember looking at these things and thinking huh??
Jim and Barbara came to hospital that afternoon, we said a prayer of dedication and they took us home. The next day we said bye to the Pendletons and started our journey back to Dallas. The funny thing is, it felt like that was the very reason for which we had gone to Memphis.

What?!

Continued

We flew into Dallas on a Thursday, got into our apartment on Friday and headed to Memphis on Saturday morning.
Memphis! the city of Elvis Presley. This is where Sam studied for his first masters degree, so we thought it would be nice to catchup with his old friends.
The weather was fantastic, the houses were beautiful and well looked after, it was a very nice place.
We were hosted by Jim and Barbara Pendleton, they were Sam's host family while he was at school. It was wonderful to finally meet them, they welcomed Sam and I like their own children. Mich had a blast!, they had a cat and a dog that he was constantly chasing and being chased by. Melody, Jim's daughter loved Mich and so they played together from time to time.

We spent much of our time visiting with friends, driving through the town to see where Sam had lived and worked those many years ago. We attended service at his church, visited his school, had dinner with his pastor. It was a busy and fun time.
For Mich's sake we went to the zoo, and spent about three hours seeing all these fascinating creatures. He particularly had a big grin on his face because Melody chose to carry him on her back.
By the end of all this we were exhausted but had to attend one last dinner with friends before we left the next day.

We got home about 9pm in the night and I headed straight up to bed. I couldn't quite rest because baby was moving and kicking a lot. I thought, you know, it's been a long day, let me rest a little and he will settle down. That didn't happen, instead I started cramping, I thought "hmm, that's weird". I sent my sister a text message telling her to pray for me because I wasn't feeling too good and she responded immediately.
Things took a different turn from that point, the pain became more regular and more intense. I asked Sam to time the contractions because I kind of realised I might actually be in labor. The pain subsided a little and then started up again. I went to the bathroom and noticed some blood, at this point we knew things were serious.
It was about 12 midnight, I asked Sam to wake Jim up and get me to hospital as soon as possible.
Jim dressed up, said he knew a hospital not to far away and drove us there.
I was in such excrutiating pain, I couldn't contain my self.
We got to the hospital and I was immediately assigned a room and put on an IV drip. In my mind I thought, "everything will be fine, all they need to do is calm things down with some medication".
The nurses monitored the baby's heart rate and it was okay. I thought "great, now all they need to do is make sure my body has stabilised and then we can head home". We had planned to travel back to Dallas the next day.

After a while the doctor came in and did a physical examination. She said something like, "your cervix has dilated and I can see the baby's legs in the birth canal". That didn't make any sense to me. Then she said,"your water sac is raptured, looks like you have an infection and the baby is trying to fight it". I still didn't get it, I was only six months on, such things don't happen.
She said it was too late to stop the contractions, the baby was already on the way.
She said the baby was too young to survive in an incubator and even if they tried, he was most definitely going to suffer some kind of deformity.
She said, "I'm sorry but we will have to let nature take it's course".
I was just looking at her saying all these things and for a moment it seemed like I was having illusions.
Ofcourse she tried to help up internalise the situation but everything was happening so fast.

I was given some pain medication, but I was still confused.

Huh?, what did she say?, what's going on?

Background

Continued

I began by introducing myself and which country I come from. To give a bit of perspective, I shared a little about my background.
I come from a family of six children and I got the lucky ticket, I'm the last born.
For those of you who don't know what that meant, I will try to elaborate.
It meant, a good life, no stress, no worries, everything was sorted. I will give you a good example.
When I had just joined elementary school P1 to be exact, my brother Peter was the head prefect.
One day some boy wanted to take my pencil, I tried to fight politely. Then a friend of his asked him if he knew who I was and the boy had no clue. His friend said "that's the head boy's sister, she can report you to him. He will write your name in the black book, take you to the headmasters office for spanking, then they will call your parents". I don't think I saw the boy again, I just recall marvelling at what his friend had said. I had no idea I was so privileged, I liked that kid, he saved me.

In secondary school I was hardly teased, my sister was a teacher in the school so people knew better. I didn't apply for my first job, I just got it, good recommendations.
When I was asked how I got jobs with MTN and the World Bank, "well, I applied".
I'm basically saying things seemed to fall into my laps somehow, I didn't strive much.

Fast forward to two years ago, Sam got accepted to Wharton Business School in Philadelphia and we were thrilled. After a while it hit me that I was actually leaving my comfort zone, all that was familiar; family, friends, church, my job, my life as I knew it was taking on a new face. I was moving into new, uncertain territory, that was scary but I had no doubt that it was the thing to do. I said my good byes then Mich and I boarded the plane to Philadelphia (some of you might remember the drama on the plane and all).

Settling into Philly was absolutely crazy, we arrived in the middle of a heat wave. Yay! that was hot!. You know, I thought Africa was hot but this was something else, baking was an understatement. Then there was the culture shock, finding my way around, helping Mich adjust to this strange place with no family, madness just!. Sam was away almost all the time, school was too intense.
Anyway as you may notice, we survived to tell the story.

Slowly I became used to the life, I had one or two people I could spend time with. I knew my way around, we found a church, I found food that we understood, life was shaping up.
Then I found out that I was pregnant, fantastic!! there couldn't be a better time. I wasn't working, it was just like I was on leave and what better way to spend the time other than raising kids.

Not long after that Sam got an internship offer and we had to move to Dallas. Great!!!, just when I thought I was getting used to Philly we had to move again and start the whole adjustment thing. We had no friends there, I was told Dallas is scorching in the summer and as some of you might know, heat and a pregnant woman are not exactly friends. I began to get a little worried. My medical insurance didn't cover me outside Pennsylvania, I had to find a new doctor, we didn't have a car, Sam was going to be away Monday to Thursday. There were lots of uncertainties, that is when I was reminded of Philippians 4:6 -7
"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life".
That kept me going, I knew that God would sort things out. There was a song that I kept playing over and over, it became my prayer.


Hide me Lord, under your wings
Cover me within your mighty hand.
When the oceans rise and thunder roars
I will soar with you above the storm.
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still and know you are God.
Rest my soul, in Christ alone
For there's power in quietness and trust.
I would listen to this song and cry, it was overwhelming. One thing was sure, God was sovereign and I knew He would handle my situations.

Testimony

About a month ago, Brad (my pastor) asked me to share with the church how I saw God work in my life since coming Philadelphia.
At first I thought he was kidding, I almost said "huh?? you talkin ta me?", (with the Robert Deniro face and accent), he was dead serious.
I wondered what gave him such a weird idea, but truthfully I will tell you I saw it coming.
I knew at some point I would have to share about the way I experienced God but I was hoping that day wouldn't come.
It's complicated.
Addressing a group of people isn't easy, I mean even two people is tough and we were talking about 100 some. I have trouble with this, my mind tends to go blank and then I end up saying silly things that are incomprehensible.
I tried to wiggle out of it, I said "you know, I could write it down and then have Sam read it to the congregation" (lame excuse right?!) . Nah, he wasn't about to barge, then I said "let me pray about it", what I really meant was let me adjust to the idea. I couldn't kid anyone, I knew I had to do it, not because Brad had mentioned it but it was something God had placed on my heart a while back.

I went home and starting thinking through my experiences and how I would put it all together. Believe or not I ended up writing 16 pages, when I told Sam he said I had to be kidding. It was way too long, he said I needed to get it down to at most 6 pages, then he would read it. "What?! 6 pages? how am I supposed to do that, there is too much to say".
Well, I got it down to 6 pages then Sam and Brad helped me to make it sensible. By the end of the whole process of writing and rewriting, I was down to 3 pages. I had only 30 minutes to talk, so I needed to be brief ish.
Unfortunately for you (my dear readers), it will go up to about 60 pages, because this is what I'll be writing about for the next days, weeks or months, so brace yourselves.

Anyway, so the day finally arrived. I got to church, Brad handed me the small mike to attach to my blouse and I sat and waited till he called me up.
He said something like "I would like to introduce our speaker for the day ..." (I don't remember the exact words). At this point I was asking myself, "how did I get in to this position again?", I wanted to run out the door but it was too late.
I stood up and smiled, looked at the congregation and a confidence I have never known came over me.

To be continued.

Visitors

This past weekend has been so much fun. We spent it with Lilian and Rose coming from Baltimore and Temple respectively.
Lilian is an old friend who I met through Olga and from spending time with the navigators. She is studying for her masters degree at Johns Hopkins. I met Rose here through a mutual friend, Jackie, she is also studying for her masters degree at Temple University. Both Lilian and Rose are part of the Navigators.














I invited Lilian for the weekend and found out that she knew Rose, it was fun having both of them over.
Because it's really cold we were not able to do much outdoors. That wasn't much of an issue, being Ugandans, sitting at home and talking is just as good or even better.

It was a coincidence that they came the very weekend I was scheduled to share my testimony in church. It was so heartwarming to look into the congregation and see their faces, it made me feel more at home.

Earlier in the month, we had lunch with Mark and Eva. Mark is a first year student at Wharton, he is Kenyan and is married to Eva. Eva and I went to the same college, so it was nice seeing her after such a longtime. This is a small big world.


We had a swell time.

Children

Mich resumed preschool this week and this time round he was clinging on to me. He didn't seem too thrilled to be back. I thought this would wear off after the first day but he continued to insist that I stay with him. Strange.

I decided to pursue this behaviour further by asking him what he didn't like about school. He said "my friends at school don't want to play with me", I thought, how can that be? all the kids play together.
On my quest I spent a few extra minutes at the school after dropping him off just to see how he settled in and I saw what he meant. He is three and the kids who he would like to play with are a little older and much more aggressive than he is, so he doesn't quite fit there. The other kids are a little younger and so he doesn't seem to fit with them either. You would think, "kids are kids right? they can get on with other little people without any problem". Well, that doesn't seem to be the case here,I hope my eyes are not being clouded by the whole mother instinct thing.
He plays by himself, that gripped my heart and I begun to pray.

This evening when I was putting him to bed I suggested that we ask God for friends and then he said something I least expected. He said, "ask God to give me friends who have hands like mine".
My my!! I kept quiet because I didn't know how to respond to that. He is three years old and already having issues with colour?! That came as a surprise, I said the exact same words when we prayed because I don't quite know how to undo this idea in his little brain.

In the middle

My life and relationships at this point are going through a metamorphosis. Kinda like the butterfly. I pray I get to be a butterfly, with it's beautiful colours, the freedom to fly and bless the flowers with the pollination process. This might sound like greek but let me explain.

When I left Kampala, I said bye to friends near and dear, I thought I would be back and life would continue from where we left off. Well that was a cute idea but sadly it doesn't work that way in real life. People move on, it's like a job, colleagues are sad to see you leave but a week later they can't remember your second name. Like wise you make new friends and acquaintances at the new station.
If one cultivated true friendships you can meet up for coffee and catchup. The catchup sessions work well to put everybody on the same page.

Being on the other side of the globe has complicated my situation. I always feel close to family whether or not we communicate, friends are different (or so it seems).There is a special link with family that continues no matter how far away one is. I know that when ever I get to see them again, there will not be a strain to fill in the gaps, I guess that's the way God intended it.
Keeping friendships though seems to require a different art. If I don't call or keep my emails coming then the friendships seem to fade.Even when I send the emails the grip seems to losen as time apart thickens . I know it's not on purpose but life gets in the way. So much is going on in their individual lives that, I can't keep a breast with everything. I may get to know some of the things that are going on but not being there physically deprives me of a certain dimension to their lives.
The same applies on my side, even though I try to document, or share everything that's going on in my life, there are certain experiences that I can't document. It's those small things that change who I am, my perspective. Just being in the States changes aspects of my life. The foods I eat, the way I relate with people, my view on certain things...
That's expected to happen,I now have one foot in each world. I've made new acquaintances and friends but because of our different backgrounds/cultures/ethnicity it's hard to absolutely understand one another. By interacting with them I'm influenced and they are influenced too but me more than them because I'm not around my kind (so to speak). That makes it hard to develop genuine friends who understand where I'm coming from. The things that are offensive in my culture, the jokes that crack me up back home, the Ugandan slang, just being Ugandan period. The effort to explain kills the fun.
Then keeping close friends back home is almost futile unless there is a two way effort. I know I will get back home and we will either have a lot to talk about or we will be scratching our heads for things to say. They are at different points in life than when I left them. New jobs, promotions, some got married, some still single, some now have 7 kids, you know?!!!
I'm stuck in the middle.

From the mouth of Babes

This child pretty much summed up what it took me the whole of 2007 to learn.

Happy New 2008!

A very Happy Happy New year everybody.
We get to see another year woohuuu!!! How exciting is that?!

I’m thrilled to see what 2008 has in store, just looking at those numbers brings a smile to my face. I think they look splendid together 2 0 0 8, maybe it’s because they are even and I like even numbers.Can you imagine we've closed the chapter to '07? and it's Never coming back again?, wow!
I’m thinking damn! another year down, girl is getting older, but luckily these days they say, 40’s are the new 30’s, 30’s are the new 20’s and my favorite 20’s are the new 10’s.


So the Common Wealth Heads of Government Meeting (what a long title) was a success, congratulations to those who were there to see it unfold, put UG on the map you know?!. That was shortly followed by Ebola but hey, we can't get things good all the time.
‘The Last King of Scotland” , go UG go!! Something else to make the world remember we exist.
I know there are countless things that happened over the year, I'm hoping you had a personal victory/victories of one kind or another.

’07 was a blast for me on different fronts, I can’t enumerate them all here but it was a wonder full year (and by that I mean it was a year full of wonders).
I made new and interesting friends.
My brother, his wife and daughter came to visit me.
We had a wonderful time with Uncle Enock.
I got some good ‘binyebwa’ from home that have lasted quite a while, helped me whip up a quick sauce when I was not too thrilled to cook.
I finally found a supermarket that sells ‘matooke’ yeee!!! and it is not too far away, nice!!
My brother Peter got married, (and so did a number of friends).
I got in trouble with the law regarding my parenting skills.Mich started preschool. He is learning so many new things and is very excited about life. Yeah, we continue to have our fights and many times I’ve been close to pulling out my hair but it’s all good.
Twice I have had near death experiences that had me hospitalized and I survived :-).
Now I know it ain't over until God says it's over.

I think life is like a blank check, you can choose what to eat, where to sleep, what relations to cultivate, heck these days you can even choose what you look like, you choose what to believe in but you can’t choose when to be born or when to die. When you die then what? all the hustle in this life for nothing?!. Surely there has got to be more and I guess that depends on how we use the check, right?!.’08 is here and I’m looking forward to; Sam finishing school, seeing mum and dad again, watching God’s plan for my life unfold, Mich taking a shower and dressing himself… and so on and so forth. That aside I'm constantly reminded, we make our plans but God has the final word.

Make the most of what you've got and live life. HAPPY 2008!!!