Tough

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Last night was a long one, I tossed and turned and failed to sleep. I was thinking again,feeling down because my life seemed kinda empty. Looking back over the period I have been in Philly, I want to have more meaning, something to do. After all the excitement of coming to the US, meeting new people, seeing lots of beautiful sceneries and my adventures, everything kind of becomes routine.
So I was thinking, maybe I came to Philly too soon, I should have stayed home for a while longer and then Mich and I would visit Sam over Christmas. Now it was making sense because then I would be occupied, I really enjoyed my work at the bank and it was promising, I was just about to move into a new field, well atleast that is what my boss told me. Charity was there to help me with Mich, I still had the car, friends, family and ministry in the church choir. Things were going real well, now I was looking back with some kind of regret. Yet again I remember we discussed this with Sam and decided it was best that we move together, separation has its strains. Now I see it comes with the growingup package, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Our relationships should come before the things we like to do and in this case my most important relationship is with my husband. There it is!
I realise that I need to make the most of what I have.
As I prayed, God brought to mind one thing that I can do as I wait for something to materialise and that is writing. Then this morning I recieved an email with a scripture "it is better to trust in the Lord than put confidence in man". I will carry that scripture in my heart and keep reminding myself that God is in control.

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